Beginners luck, p.9
Beginner's Luck, page 9
Except Aaron wanted to believe Jay. Against his better judgment, and fully aware of how illogical it was, he wanted to believe that he belonged.
The next time he pulled away, Jay didn’t stop him. Meeting Jay’s gaze, he whispered, “Okay. I trust you.”
Jay’s smile was bright as he enveloped Aaron like a shield. Something had shifted, the firm grasp of his arms no longer meant to soothe tears but to offer something else entirely. Jay hugged with his whole body, channeling the intensity of the moment into the gesture.
“We don’t have to go back inside,” Jay murmured into Aaron’s hair. “We can go somewhere else.”
“No, I’m done freaking out for the night.” Aaron took a deep breath and reluctantly stepped away. He would gladly spend all night touching Jay, but he’d ruined enough of their plans tonight. “I want to watch the very beautiful people get their pictures taken. Also, there’s something you’re wrong about.”
Jay frowned. “What’s that?”
“I’m also wearing mascara. Waterproof!” Aaron winked at Jay and held open the door. As Jay shook his head with a chuckle and walked in, Aaron congratulated himself on pulling off his very first wink.
The place was still full of youthful bodies wrapped in leather and lace, but Aaron’s insecurities had settled. Jay’s tender words buoyed him, his heart beginning to accept the idea that he could be enough.
They walked through the club, stopping to watch the photographers at work. Each one had claimed a small space for their equipment, arranging the backdrops and lighting to their taste. Gorgeous models drifted from one setup to the next, carrying themselves with the grace and confidence of youth. The popular regulars drew shouts from the photographers, coaxing them into a session.
In the middle of the chaos, a young man with a camera caught sight of Jay and waved him over.
“Hey, Jay!” he yelled over the noise. “Having fun?”
Jay paused and gave him a tight nod. “Gordon. How’s it going?”
“I’m getting some good shots. Wanna hop in there?” Gordon gestured toward his makeshift stage.
“Oh, no, I’m fine. Not dressed for the occasion.” Jay waved at his clothes, a flicker of unease passing over his features. He edged closer to Aaron, their shoulders brushing together.
“Come on, you look great. Strike a pose,” Gordon insisted, coming closer. So focused on Jay, he hadn’t spared Aaron a single glance. Not that Aaron minded—Gordon’s intense stare was unsettling, and he wanted to grab Jay and drag him far away.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m okay.”
Gordon’s smile transformed into a scowl. “Hey, man, what’s up with you? You’ve been coming here for months and you never do anything. Always with that red bracelet, just hanging around.”
Jay flinched, hurt darkening his face. Still raw from earlier, that flinch was more than Aaron could handle.
“Hey, man.” Aaron stepped in front of Jay, shielding him. “Jay doesn’t owe you an explanation. I’ve read the club policy, and there’s nothing about having to participate. He can come here and do nothing but stare at dicks every day until he’s ninety if that’s what he wants. So why don’t you fuck right off and remember that this is supposed to be a judgment-free zone. Keep your shitty opinions to yourself.”
Aaron’s words hung in the air. Gordon stood frozen, his lips parted in surprise.
“Well-said.” A tall man appeared from behind, clapping Aaron on the back. “Gordy, you better watch yourself. I’ve told you, it’s not a good idea to drink before showing up. You’re gonna get banned for being an asshole.”
“Uhh, shit.” Gordon scratched the back of his neck. “Sorry, Jay, I didn’t mean to be a dick. It’s just that we all keep expecting you to join the party, and we keep wondering who you’re gonna pick…”
“It’s fine. No hard feelings.” Jay offered him a strained smile before grabbing Aaron by the elbow and tugging him away until they were on the other side of the club.
“That was awesome,” he said when they stopped and faced each other. “You defended my honor.”
“I guess I’m still a little on edge. Should I feel bad for laying into him like that?”
Aaron didn’t think he could bring himself to apologize to the horrible man who’d upset Jay.
“Don’t worry about it. Gordon gets like this sometimes. He’s a bratty sub, and he doesn’t always turn it off.”
“Was that tall guy his Dom?”
“They play together sometimes, but Gordon is a solo sub. He fucks whoever catches his eye on any given night.”
Aaron tipped his head back with a quiet scoff. Things were starting to make sense. “I’m going to take a wild guess that you’ve caught his eye many times.”
“Unfortunately for him, he’s not my type.”
“Not into bratty types who speak their mind?” Aaron asked with a teasing smile. This was the closest they’d gotten to discussing Jay’s preferences, and he was desperate to learn as much as he could.
“I love the types who speak their mind.” Jay paused and gave Aaron a meaningful look. “But not the whole brat dynamic. I don’t want to act like someone’s keeper.”
“Same here. No masters or sirs for me.” Aaron watched Jay’s face for a reaction. As far as he knew, honorifics were a huge part of the lifestyle. Refusing to use them would be a dealbreaker for many Doms.
Jay didn’t seem to find his words shocking. “Yeah. It’s not for everyone. I’ve never had any interest in anything like that.”
A quiet sense of satisfaction settled in Aaron’s chest. Every new thing he learned about Jay made him even more perfect than before. He wished they could keep talking, but the crowded chaos wasn’t conducive to a heart-to-heart.
He would just have to make sure they got an opportunity for a cozy private chat soon.
“Come on.” He pointed to a woman seductively licking a lollipop for the camera. “Let’s go watch for a while longer, and then this old boring man has to go home for his beauty sleep.”
Jay chuckled and placed his arm on Aaron’s lower back, steering him through the crowd. “Anything for the man who gave me permission to stare at dicks every day for the rest of my life.”
Chapter 13
JAY
Jay woke up with an idea.
It was either a stroke of brilliance or a disaster waiting to happen, but there was a real chance it would bring a smile to Aaron’s face.
JAY: I have an idea.
AARON: Should I guess? Are we starting a band? I think I have maracas somewhere.
JAY: It’s a surprise. Can you take a long lunch or take off a little early today?
AARON: Ooh, intriguing. Do we need the extra time to plot world domination?
JAY: If I say yes, will you answer my question?
AARON: I would love to take over the world with you! I have to finish a report, so I’ll work through lunch, but I can be done with the day by 3-ish.
JAY: How many cups of coffee have you had today?
AARON: Four! Why do you ask?
JAY: No reason. Text me when you’re in my building and I’ll come down.
AARON: I’ll start brainstorming our titles. How about Absolute All-powerful Rulers Of Nature?
JAY: Maybe pick a better acronym.
Sometimes Aaron’s silly texts sounded like they came from a hyperactive toddler, and Jay loved how the strong, serious man wearing tailored suits had so many hidden depths he allowed Jay to see. The playful side that made Jay laugh, the dry sense of humor that kept him on his toes, the vulnerable side that made him want to wrap Aaron up in a cocoon and cradle him in his arms. The protective side that knocked Jay clean off his feet.
It had been a complete surprise to see Aaron so fierce—standing tall, steel in his voice, his whole body radiating power as he placed himself between Jay and Gordon. No one had ever stood up for Jay like that. Aaron hadn’t just offered words of support and a shoulder to lean on. He’d taken a public stance, ready to attack on Jay’s behalf.
It made Jay giddy with happiness—and incredibly turned on. The idea of dominating such a formidable man into submission, reducing his controlled and confident presence to a whimpering and begging mess… It sent shivers of want through Jay.
Aaron was perfect for him, and Jay owed it to himself to take a chance. If he kept putting it off, Aaron could meet someone at the club, and Jay would miss his chance. All because he couldn’t muster up the courage.
Time slowed to a crawl as Jay counted down the hours before he saw Aaron. Still worried about the potential blowback, he repeatedly picked up his phone to send some kind of disclaimer, only to reread their text conversation and smile. Even if Aaron hated it, he wouldn’t be angry at Jay. He’d probably just grab his hand, and they would go somewhere else. It would be easy.
Everything with Aaron was easy.
“Jay, my office.” His boss walked past without stopping, and Jay gave her a guilty smile before putting his phone away and following. Erica was a cool boss, so he wouldn’t be in trouble for playing on his phone, but it still wasn’t a good look.
She closed the door and sat at the desk, gesturing for him to take a seat.
“Jay,” she said as soon as he lowered himself into the chair. “You’ve done a great job with the noise pollution project for the school district. The testing is going well, and the clients love the intuitive interface.”
“Thank you. It’s a fun project.”
“It was a gamble on my part to have you be the project lead, but I knew you’d rise to the occasion. You stuck to the deadlines, you delegated to the rest of the team, and you showed incredible patience in client meetings.” A grin spread across her face. “More patience than I would have shown, at any rate.”
Jay’s cheeks heated. He knew he’d done well, and the praise spread warmth through his chest, but it was too much. “It was a team effort.”
Erica shook her head with a smile. “Spoken like a true leader.”
“Wait, I’m not—”
“We’ve seen steady growth for the past seven years, but the last few months have been exceptionally strong. We have more project requests than our team can handle, and it’s obvious we have to expand.”
Jay nodded along. He was glad the company was doing well, but why was Erica telling him this?
“Jay, you’ve been with us from the beginning. You’ve grown with this company, you know every product we offer, everyone who works here.” She paused, watching his face. “We’re bringing on five junior developers to help with the workload, and I want you to step into a senior role. Help us hire the right people. Guide them. Lead them.”
Jay opened his mouth to object, but she held up her hand. “I know, I know. You don’t want to supervise anyone because you don’t think you’d be good at it. I remember the speech from when I tried to give you the summer intern. This time, I want you to really think about it before you turn it down. It’s not just a better title and higher salary—you’d get a chance to lead and mentor people.”
Jay squirmed in his seat. She had to be wrong about him. There was no way he could be a leader. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, unsure of what to say.
“I’ll think about it,” he finally muttered, the response too simple for everything she’d said, but it was all he could offer in the moment.
“That’s all I can ask.” Erica gave him a warm smile. Her phone rang, and she glanced at it with annoyance. “Sorry, I have to take this. How about I email you the offer paperwork? Who knows, maybe the salary will sway you.”
“Maybe if I use it to buy a personality transplant.” Jay chuckled and stood to leave.
“Jay, you don’t need to be a tyrant or have all the right answers to be a good manager. You just have to care about your people.” Erica’s voice was gentle, and Jay gave her a silent nod before leaving the office.
Conflicting thoughts raced through his mind as he sat down and stared at his laptop screen. There was comfort in knowing he was one of many. He never had to work late nights or come in on the weekends. He could call in sick without worrying about his workload. If he didn’t know something, he could just ask, without being concerned about optics.
Being responsible for other people would surely put an end to that easygoing routine.
On the other hand, he couldn’t deny the spark of excitement igniting within him at Erica’s words. A small part of him wanted to try, to help guide the new hires just as Erica had once helped guide him.
What would Aaron do?
Jay immediately scoffed at himself for even asking. Aaron was good enough to become a fucking director by the time he was thirty-eight—he wouldn’t think twice about taking this promotion. He wouldn’t agonize over it like Jay, wouldn’t doubt himself.
By the time Aaron texted that he was downstairs, Jay was ready to stop going in circles and switch his attention to the lovely man waiting for him. He waved goodbye to his coworkers on the way to the elevator and jammed his finger impatiently into the lobby button. Excitement and nerves clashed inside him with anticipation for what the afternoon might bring.
Aaron was easy to spot, so absorbed by the giant metal sculpture in the back of the lobby that he didn’t notice Jay’s arrival. His light gray suit acted as an unassuming backdrop for the bright magenta shirt underneath, and the jacket buttons were undone, making Jay’s fingers itch with the desire to slip his hands underneath.
Being around Aaron was giving him a suit fetish.
He slid up behind Aaron and leaned in to whisper in his ear, “What do you think of our art?”
Aaron didn’t seem surprised by Jay’s appearance, turning his head slightly. “I think the harsh angles and severe lines speak to the inflexibility of the corporate world. I could see someone making this after being denied a vacation request.”
Jay snorted in amusement. “Close. According to the plaque, it’s called The Aviary. Something about birds in captivity.”
“I wasn’t that far off.” Aaron leaned back into Jay’s chest, the slight movement chasing all else from Jay’s mind. “Aren’t we all just birds in captivity? But it’s Friday, and you don’t have to be back in your cage for days, so let’s get to that surprise!”
He stepped away, a chill washing over Jay’s chest at the loss of their connection. He tried to get it back with casual touches on the walk to his car—his hand briefly lingering on Aaron’s forearm to steer him in the right direction, their shoulders pressed together as they walked side by side.
It was too much and not enough at the same time.
Jay drove while Aaron talked about his day, barely holding in laughter as he recounted the remote meeting during which someone had forgotten to mute, treating their coworkers to a full-fledged conversation they had with their dog. He laughed along, but his nerves came back in full force as they approached their destination. By the time he parked, he was afraid to look at Aaron for fear of seeing anger or disappointment on his handsome face.
“Suede Dreams,” Aaron read the name of the store. “Is that where we’re going?”
“Yes. I thought you might like it.” Jay’s knuckles were white from gripping the steering wheel. “If you don’t, we can leave. I don’t want you to feel like you have to—”
“Hold up,” Aaron interrupted. “You’ve started rambling, and I still don’t know what’s happening. What is this place?”
“It’s a leather shop,” Jay said.
“To buy…leather? Like, by the yard?” Aaron asked with an adorably confused expression on his face.
“To buy things made out of leather. Things you might see at the club?”
“Ohh.” Realization dawned on Aaron’s face. “Like sexy leather suits! Wow, that took me a second. I guess my mind is in whatever’s the opposite of a gutter.”
“Yeah, so…” Jay was determined to give the uncomfortable disclaimer. “I meant what I said yesterday. You’re beautiful just as you are—the suits, those insane spandex shorts, sweatpants. I mean, I’ve never seen you in sweatpants, but I assume you’d still look amazing. It’s just that you seemed upset yesterday about not having the option to wear something else, so…I brought you here to find some options?”
Aaron’s smile had been growing wider through Jay’s monologue. At the end, he lunged across the center console and delivered an aggressive kiss to Jay’s cheek before squeezing him in an awkward side hug.
“You’re just so sweet. Thank you for this. Honestly, it would have taken me months just to get around to googling what a place like that is called.”
“I was a little worried it might come off the wrong way,” Jay admitted, breathing in Aaron’s citrusy scent. He could stay like this forever, but he forced himself to let go after a few seconds.
"I can't wait to check it out." Aaron examined the unassuming storefront with curiosity and got out of the car. "I’ve never seen you wear leather. Saving it for a special occasion?"
“No.” Jay shook his head. “I don’t own anything like that.”
Aaron eyed him with playful suspicion. "Why not? I'm not implying you need to change your style. That black T-shirt and jeans combo is probably Pavlovian to club regulars at this point. But why not mix it up?"
The question stumped Jay. He’d never really thought about it. His everyday outfits were comfortable and unassuming, so he’d always worn the same thing to the club out of habit.
Maybe it was time to add some variety to the endless rotation of the same T-shirts and jeans he’d worn since college.
When he didn’t respond, Aaron nudged him. “Wait, if you don’t shop here, how do you even know about this place?”
“I shop here,” Jay said. “Just not for clothes.”
Aaron tilted his head in confusion before his eyes widened with the realization. “Oh,” he breathed out, avoiding Jay’s eyes, “Right.” He twirled around and walked toward the entrance, leaving Jay to catch up as he tried not to chuckle at the obvious embarrassment on Aaron’s face. These occasional moments of innocence made him all the more endearing.
