Beginners luck, p.8
Beginner's Luck, page 8
“Nah, I had a late lunch.” He put the key on the counter and stepped up to hug her. “See you at the next family dinner, unless you need some babysitting first.”
“Yeah,” she said slowly, her eyes narrowing on him in suspicion. “We’ll talk soon.”
Before leaving, Jay paused at the door to yell a goodbye to his nephews, getting two muffled exclamations in return.
* * *
He had five missed calls when he left the gym on Sunday—all from Layla. He called back, not even bothering to listen to the voicemails.
She picked up on the first ring.
“I knew something was going on! Thank you for the gorgeous cabinet, by the way. It was exactly what I wanted. And it came with a large gift basket with a note apologizing for some kind of incident? What happened?”
Jay winced. He hadn’t expected to share that particular tidbit with his sister.
“How about I come by to grab it and tell you in person?”
“Whatever. I’ve already rifled through it, and I’m keeping the chocolate-covered cherries.”
Jay texted Aaron on his way to the car.
JAY: Did you get a gift basket? My sister just called demanding answers and annexing the chocolate cherries.
AARON: Shame, the cherries were good. I would share mine, but they’re loooong gone. You should definitely rush over there before she finds the chocolate marshmallows.
JAY: I will report back.
He didn’t bother stopping for a shower or a change of clothes, heading straight to Layla’s house. She wrinkled her face in disgust as she let him in.
“You’re all sweaty.”
“I was at the gym while you were blowing up my phone. Now I would like my goodies, please.” Jay scanned the living room, the pristine surfaces dashing his hopes for a quick escape.
“Not before you tell me what happened. Don’t move.” She held up one finger and left the room, coming back with a beach towel. After spreading it on the couch, she forced Jay to sit next to her and gestured for him to start talking. With a sigh, he recounted yesterday’s events. She paid close attention, nodding along and popping chocolate into her mouth at regular intervals. When he finished speaking, she arched one eyebrow and pursed her lips.
“So this guy, Aaron, he just ran in and grabbed you?”
“Yeah. He has quick instincts, I guess.”
“Mm-hmm,” she hummed. “And how do you know him?”
Jay wavered. He wasn’t ashamed of his lifestyle, but he also wasn’t about to tell his sister he’d joined a BDSM club. “We met at a bar.”
“Mmmm-hmmmmm.” She drew the sound out, a hint of amusement dancing in her eyes.
“Stop that, you’re being annoying. Can I please have my stuff so I can go?”
“Are you dating?” Layla asked, acting as if Jay hadn’t said a word.
“No, we’re just friends,” Jay huffed out, folding his arms across his chest.
“Right… Okay, I get it.” Layla nodded in understanding, and Jay would have been relieved if not for the knowing smile that warned him the interrogation was far from over. “I totally get it. You met this random dude at a bar, went furniture shopping with him, then he heroically saved you from a rabid bookshelf, but you’re just friends.”
When Jay opened his mouth to argue, she leveled him with a look. “Can I remind you that when you first moved out, you refused to go shopping for adult furniture, even though Mom and Dad offered to pay for it?”
“I’ve matured?” Jay shrugged. “I don’t know what you want me to say. He’s a great guy who just moved to the city, we work on the same block, and we’ve hung out a few times. That’s it. Pretty sure he’s not interested in me anyway.”
Layla’s features softened, and she patted Jay’s hand. “My sweet little brother. How long has it been since you dated someone? Did something happen?”
“I hate when you go all big sister on me.” Jay swatted her away half-heartedly. “Nothing bad happened. Relationships just don’t work out for me. I date people for a few weeks, and then it always crumbles apart. So, what’s the point of even trying? Maybe I’m not meant to find someone who fits me.”
“You are. You absolutely are. I know that there’s a lot to your life I don’t know, but what I do know is that you’re a sweet, lovely person. Everything else is…important, but secondary.”
“There are plenty of sweet, lovely people in the world that never get lucky and find love.”
“Yes, there are.” Layla stared at Jay with unusual intensity. “Which is why you’re going to make sure you’re not one of those people. Make an effort, take a chance, and ask that guy out.”
Layla wasn’t wrong—if he wanted a partner and a family, he had to do something. He couldn’t watch from the sidelines forever.
But he could put it off for another few weeks.
“Do I have to do it right this second?”
“No, but you should do it soon. Strike while it’s hot and all that.”
With a sigh of agreement, Jay heaved himself up from the couch. “Well, you’ve done a fantastic job distracting me with your pep talk, but I still want my treats. Or what’s left of them.”
“Shoot,” Layla smirked and pointed to the kitchen. “It was worth a try. They’re on the counter.”
Jay left some sweets behind for his nephews and waved his sister goodbye on his way out. He didn’t want to show it, but their conversation had overwhelmed him. Layla’s words made sense, but she wasn’t the one with a backlog of failed relationships. She had a loving marriage and great kids. It was easy for her to tell him what to do.
After going home and taking a shower, he spent the rest of the day sprawled on the sofa, a soccer game in the background, making his way through the snacks. He had to give props to whoever was in charge of their customer relations—the gift basket was the fanciest he’d ever seen. But even the caramel-covered cake pops couldn’t distract Jay from his thoughts.
He wasn’t ready to ask Aaron out on a date. They got along as friends, the occasional flirting gave him hope, and the heat between them at the shibari workshop had been undeniable, but was there more to it? What if all Aaron wanted was a casual hookup? Would Aaron even want to date so soon after his divorce?
Ugh. The divorce.
The very notion of it intimidated Jay. Aaron had been with his husband for sixteen years. He was used to being with someone who knew him, knew his moods and his body, could anticipate his every need. No wonder the red bracelet never left his wrist. How could he ever find a better Dom than his ex-husband? Who could ever measure up?
Layla’s words flitted through Jay’s mind, and he laughed mirthlessly. Lovely and sweet—hardly a catch. Not for the first time in his life, he wished he could be more, be someone else entirely. Someone confident and assertive. Someone who deserved the impressive, gorgeous man consuming his mind.
No, he would not be asking Aaron out anytime soon, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t find reasons to spend time with him. Perking up, he grabbed his phone and pulled up the Chain Reaction monthly calendar. After scanning through the upcoming events, he spotted one Aaron would enjoy.
He switched to the texting app and realized he’d forgotten to send a follow-up to their earlier exchange.
JAY: The marshmallows were safely escorted to my house, where they were promptly eaten.
AARON: Excellent! I was starting to get worried you were having a stand-off with your sister.
JAY: She used a variety of tactics to distract me, but I emerged victorious.
AARON: I never had a single doubt :)
Jay stared at the screen, willing himself to come up with an organic way to pivot the conversation. His mind was blank.
JAY: So, I know you usually go to the club on the weekends, but there’s a modeling night next Thursday, and I think you’d like it. Some people dress up and model, others show up with their cameras. I’ve never participated, but it’s fun to watch.
AARON: I saw that on the events list! Wasn’t sure what it was all about, but it sounds fun. Friday looks like a light day anyway, and who needs sleep?
JAY: Not me after eating ten pounds of sugar today. On that note, good night.
AARON: Sweet dreams.
It wasn’t a date, but it was something to look forward to.
Kink Talk
SubAir: I'm curious about things people don't like about the lifestyle. We mostly talk about what we want, but I'm sure there are aspects that are not for everyone.
SubLily: Good point. It’s useful for us to keep in mind that not everyone is into the same things. I'll start—I'm not into restraints. It's not a hard limit, but I'd need to build up to it.
DomAndDommer: I go with the flow, but I’m not into anything potentially unsafe. Breath play, knife play…I trust myself, but not that much.
DomicronPersei8: I try to keep an open mind, but I can confidently say that high protocol is just not for me. It sounds exhausting to keep up.
SubSequins: Personally, I don't see the appeal of degradation. I’d safeword out immediately.
SubZero: I don't have any major icks, but pain does absolutely nothing for me. If someone wants to spank me, I'll go along for the ride and play it up, but inside it's all eye rolls.
SubMarine: Full body bondage freaks me out. I feel like I would have an immediate panic attack.
DomPetty: This is kinda dumb, but I don’t like the idea of people coming up with their own safewords. Why can't we all use the color system? What if they forget their safeword because it's something random like pomegranate or applesauce? What if I forget it?
DomAndDommer: Dude, I think you’d notice something’s up when your partner is yelling about fruit.
DomPetty: I did say it was dumb, ok?
SubAir: Love the responses! For me, it's honorifics. Don't have any issue with other people using them, but it'll be a cold day in hell before I call someone sir or master.
SubZero: I can just see it. A Dom leaning over you, all sexy "And what do you call me?" and you’re like "Shut up and get on with it, Charlie".
SubAir: That is going to pop into my head at the most inopportune time…
Chapter 12
AARON
Days were blending together. Between work, furiously unpacking his belongings, and arranging the new furniture, Aaron didn’t come up for air until Thursday afternoon, his stomach fluttering with anticipation for that night. He hadn’t seen Jay, but they’d texted throughout the week, mostly sticking to silly jokes and pictures.
When Jay had sent him a sweaty, smiling post-practice selfie with a soccer ball under his arm, Aaron spent far too long staring at it, imagining peeling that damp tank top from his body.
In return, he sent Jay a shot of himself holding a thick report as if it were a soccer ball, matching Jay’s pose and facial expression exactly. His phone immediately buzzed with a barrage of laughing emojis, making the half an hour he’d wasted trying to get the perfect shot worth it.
They straddled the line between friendly and flirty. So far, their interactions had been strictly platonic. Mostly. There’d been a few charged moments at the club when Jay’s intense gaze lingered on his lips, electricity humming between them, but Jay always looked away first, leaving Aaron confused.
He didn’t even know if Jay liked men. It never came up. At the club, Jay was friendly with everyone, watching demonstrations and performances with curiosity, but never initiating anything. Almost like he was waiting for something, though Aaron wasn’t sure what.
Aaron did his best not to read into Jay’s flirty remarks and heated glances. It would be too easy to let himself believe it meant something, to build it up in his head and end up disappointed. Jay was a sexy, experienced Dom, too young and adventurous to want to saddle himself with a recently divorced, inexperienced sub.
Sure, Aaron knew he was attractive for his age. He was no stranger to interested looks and bold advances at clubs and bars, but he was also realistic. Jay was out of his league, plain and simple.
Otherwise, wouldn’t he have made a move by now?
Aaron rifled through his closet and emerged with a frustrated groan. So far, he’d been wearing his one pair of black jeans and whatever button-down struck his fancy, but he wanted to make an effort tonight. People would be dressed up to model—wearing sleek black leather and latex, their hair perfectly styled, their makeup elaborate and impeccable—and while Aaron had zero desire to have his picture taken, he didn’t want to look drab by comparison.
Unfortunately, his closet had nothing exciting. There’d never been a need for it. With a sigh of frustration, he threw on the jeans and a silky white button-down. The glossy fabric was cool to the touch, hugging his skin and falling just below the waistline when left untucked. After adding eyeliner and mascara to make his eyes pop, Aaron squinted at the reflection in the mirror. This was the best he could do—it would have to be enough.
Jay was already at the club when Aaron walked in. Leaning on the counter by the bar, he looked deep in conversation with an attractive blond, who had his hand on Jay’s forearm and a sly smile on his face. Black straps crossed his body from shoulders to thighs, leaving a smooth chest and toned legs on full display.
He fit right in.
And Jay looked interested.
Aaron hesitated, unsure whether he should approach or let them keep talking. He tore his gaze away, searching for a distraction. All around him, beautiful, seductive people glided through the space, their laughter and bright smiles filling the air. Aaron tugged at the hem of his shirt, fingering the smooth fabric that looked dull and out of place.
He’d always been confident in his worth, which made it all the more ironic that it was the one place he’d spent his life yearning for that now made him feel like an outsider.
And he was an outsider. That much was clear. No amount of research or observation would make up for whatever was missing inside him.
He turned around and shot out the door, past the lobby, and back onto the dark sidewalk, gasping for breath. His phone was at the coat check. He had to go back inside and retrieve it, but all he wanted to do was go home. His insecurities layered over one another, crushing his chest, making him feel like a teenager again.
The door opened behind him, and someone approached.
“Aaron?” Jay’s voice, followed by his hand settling on Aaron’s shoulder, its warmth penetrating through the fabric. Lost in a haze of self-doubt, Aaron turned slowly. Jay’s face came into view—his expression soft and blurry around the edges.
A sudden sting in his eyes pulled Aaron back to reality.
“Shit.” He stepped back, shrugging Jay’s hand off his shoulder. On top of all the reasons why he was an inferior choice, now he was on the verge of crying for absolutely no reason. “I’m sorry. You should go back inside.”
Jay frowned and erased the distance between them. “What’s going on?”
“Nothing!” Aaron snapped. “I’m just having a moment. Please, go back inside.”
“Hey.” Jay cupped Aaron’s face, his dark, piercing gaze locking with Aaron’s and threatening to consume him. “I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong.”
The concern on Jay’s face was unbearable. And completely unwarranted.
“This is embarrassing.” Aaron’s voice broke, and he swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I’m not minimizing. Literally, nothing is wrong. I’m a mess for no fucking reason. I should go home. This was a mistake.”
“What was a mistake?”
“Coming here. Joining this place. Maybe moving to this city.” He used the edge of his sleeve to dab at the moisture in his eyes. The glossy fabric wasn’t very absorbent. “I don’t belong here.”
“What are you talking about?” Jay’s gentle grip on Aaron’s chin tightened, tension vibrating through his fingertips. Confusion and worry mixed on his face, his brow furrowed, his eyes wide and full of questions.
Aaron was on the verge of calling it quits and fleeing, abandoning his phone and what was left of his pride, but Jay wouldn’t let him run. For some reason, Jay wanted Aaron to spell it out.
“Come on!” Aaron raised his voice. “It’s fucking obvious. Go inside, look around, and then look at me. The place is full of these young, incredibly attractive people that are wearing less than a yard of fabric between them. And here I am, wearing a fucking button-down shirt because that’s all I have. Middle-aged, divorced, boring. They probably let me join out of pity.”
He shook with anger and regret. He shouldn’t have voiced his insecurities, should have carried them home in silence, but it was too late.
Jay’s reaction caught him off guard. He wrapped his arms around Aaron in a tight embrace, pulling him close. Too drained to resist, Aaron pressed his face into Jay’s neck and let himself sink into the comfort of Jay’s touch.
They stood motionless, the silence of the next few minutes broken only by Aaron’s ragged breathing. Jay didn’t offer platitudes or try to calm him down—just held him close, rubbing soothing circles on his back until his breathing calmed. When Aaron tried to pull away, Jay didn’t let go, instead gently pressing Aaron’s head back to his shoulder.
“Now it’s my turn to talk,” Jay said. “I’ve battled my share of insecurities, so I know how they can twist your reality and make you see things that aren’t actually there. I want you to hear me out and trust me.”
Aaron nodded, words escaping him.
“I see a beautiful, successful man who has his priorities straight. Who knows what he wants and doesn’t apologize for it. Who doesn’t change who he is under pressure. A man who walks into a room full of people who spent all day dressing up, wearing his everyday clothes and nothing but a dash of eyeliner, and still manages to be the most attractive person in the building,” Jay whispered, the steel in his voice unmistakable, leaving no room for argument. “It’s hard to see ourselves objectively sometimes. But you can trust me to see you.”
He murmured the last few words directly into Aaron’s ear before tenderly kissing his temple. The softness of Jay’s lips, the warmth of his breath, the weight of his words—it was too much. Aaron was paralyzed, afraid to take a breath and shatter the moment. The things Jay was saying were sweet, meant to boost his mood, but they seemed too good to be true. They couldn’t be.
