Restless, p.26
Restless, page 26
I am a fighter. I've been fighting my whole life, and I'll be damned if I'm going to give up now. This sweet little girl in my arms and the baby in my stomach need me to fight.
Finn promised he'd come back to me, but how can he keep that promise if I'm not there for him to come back to?
Fuck this shit. This fire won't be the thing that brings me down. I'm Francine fucking Gray. I come from a long line of vicious, ruthless motherfuckers, and I'm no different.
Nothing and no one can stop me.
"I'm getting you out of here," I whisper to the little girl before struggling to my feet.
The front door is blocked, but that doesn't mean it's the only way out. What was it that the brother from Big Hero 6 said?
Look for a new angle.
"New angle," I groan as I look around the room.
It's an old, cheap apartment complex. The outside isn't made of brick or stone. It's siding, and the wood inside is probably weak from age and possibly water damage at some point. If I manage to hit the right point of the wall leading to the outside of the building, I might be able to break through.
It's not an obvious exit, but with a good amount of knowledge, I can find the weakness.
"Come on, Francine," I grumble as I search the wall.
Then, I see it—a water stain.
That's our exit point.
I throw the quilt around the baby to protect her from whatever might happen and run as fast as I can at the wall.
It creaks but doesn't break, so I move further back, huddle my body around the baby, and run harder.
Please, let this work. I pray to whoever might be listening in the great beyond.
My prayers are answered.
The wall crumbles as my body breaks, and I curl in more to block the baby from the wood falling on us as I get out, a gust of smoke pushing through the hole behind us.
Even out here, I feel like I can't breathe, but the baby seems to be relaxing a bit even as she continues crying.
"Francine!" I finally hear Finn's frantic voice as I look up and see firefighters trying to hold him back from the blaze.
He's safe.
I can't speak. It's hard enough to get any air in.
Why the fuck can't I breathe? I'm not in the fire anymore. It makes no sense!
Actually, it makes perfect sense.
Smoke inhalation.
I took in too much smoke, and it's making it difficult for me to catch my breath.
I stumble away from the fire, and a burly firefighter runs up to me.
"Are you okay, ma'am?" he asks as he throws a blanket around my shoulders.
I can't speak, so I just grab at my chest for him to understand. He guides me over to the line of ambulances, where Finn is able to get to me.
"Francine!"
"Sir, give her some room," the firefighter instructs as the paramedic approaches me and quickly realizes the issue I'm having. He hands me a mask connected to a tube, and I immediately put it on.
"Breathe as deep as you can," the paramedic instructs as I hand the baby over to him.
It takes a few minutes to feel like the breathing treatment is doing anything. Once I'm able to get some oxygen in, I start to talk.
"Let him over here," I tell the firefighter who lets Finn come to me.
"What were you thinking going in there?" Finn demands viciously.
I see the looks the paramedic and the firefighter give me. They think Finn is behaving like an abusive asshole that will slap me around as soon as we're alone.
I mean, he might, but not in the way they think. Finn is protective, and I did something very stupid and dangerous by going into that building after him.
If I hadn't, this little girl wouldn't be alive.
"Is she okay?" I ask the paramedic, ignoring Finn's question.
"I think so. She seems hungry is all," he says as Finn throws his arms around me, pulling me in close.
"Scare me like that again, and you won't walk for a week," he warns in my ear before kissing my cheek.
I know he's serious, and I don't expect him to go easy on me tonight, but I wasn't going to sit on the sidewalk when I was worried about him. I had to do something.
"Okay, Momma. Let's get you and your girl to the hospital," the paramedic says before handing the baby over to me, curling herself into my arm.
"Oh, she's not—"
"Sir, you can follow them to the hospital if you want," the firefighter urges Finn to leave, which he nods to.
"I'll see you soon, babe," he mutters before kissing my forehead.
The paramedic helps me to the stretcher and straps me down as I hold the baby close.
"She's not my baby. I found her alone in the building," I explain to him.
"You found her?"
"I heard her screaming from the hall, so I broke down the door. There was a woman on the ground, covered in blood. She must've been killed right before the fire started, and whoever did it left this baby alone," I say as the little girl stares up at me, cracking a smile.
She's so cute with her black curls and big brown eyes. Her skin is so light, almost milky. It reminds me of Finn's skin.
There's something about this little girl. I just can't put my finger on it. I know her somehow.
Maybe I know her mom or dad, and that's the connection I'm getting?
"She likes you," the paramedic says as he checks my vitals.
"How can you tell?"
"Parents can tell. Maybe she knows you saved her life. Babies are smarter than adults give them credit for. They know who they can trust, and they can figure out so much on their own without anyone's help. They have natural street smarts."
I don't know what it is about the last sentence he spoke, but it triggers my memory—how I know this beautiful little girl.
It's not that I know her. We've never met, but I know her mother and her father. She has his hair and skin but her mother's eyes, nose, and lips.
"Oh my god," I whisper as I hold her close. "Just wait until I tell your Uncle Duncan that I found you," I say to the little girl, and she lets out a big giggle.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Her
I sit up in the hospital bed in the emergency room with the sweet little girl in my arms as Finn runs into the room.
"Hey," I greet him quietly.
The baby fell asleep immediately after I gave her a bottle and has kept my necklace between her fingers ever since.
"How are you feeling?" he asks, eyeing the little girl suspiciously.
"Fine, but things are about to get crazy awkward," I warn him as he sits on the edge of my hospital bed.
"Why do you say that?" Suspicion drenches his gaze as it flicks between the sweet baby and me.
"Let's just say that me running into that building was some sort of divine intervention. You see, this little girl—" I start as I gently stroke her head of black curls, getting a tiny grumble from the sweet thing in response. "—she isn't just some random baby I pulled from the fire. This child is the same baby Clara Malloy gave up for adoption," I tell him.
I can't tell if he's stunned or just paying attention, but he stays silent, just staring at me.
"The police are looking into the records to find someone to take her so she doesn't have to go into foster care. When they told me that, I called Duncan. He and Clara are headed here now," I tell him.
"They are coming here?" he asks for clarification.
"Yeah. You didn't see the look on Clara's face when she told me about her giving this little girl up. She didn't want to do it. Now, her adoptive mother is dead, and her adoptive father is nowhere to be found. This is Clara's last chance to do what she wants—not what she thinks she's supposed to do."
I'm not sure what his reaction will be, but it does surprise me when he gently touches her arm. It's a soft touch.
"She's Rian's daughter, too," he adds.
"I know."
After a few minutes of us sitting in silence, the door opens, and both Clara and Duncan run in.
"Franny, are you okay?" The words rush out of Duncan's mouth in a panic before his eyes fall on Finn by my side.
I haven't seen Duncan since Finn and I got back together. I wanted to tell him in person, but it is happening with Finn right here, and that was not how I planned it.
"Yeah, I'm okay," I respond as the baby slowly starts to stir, whimpering and groaning, before falling back asleep.
"Oh my god. Is she okay?" Clara cries, but it’s obvious it isn't me she's worried about. Her eyes are on the little girl laying on my chest.
"Yeah, she's been checked out. I got her out of the fire just in time," I tell her.
"I'll give you some privacy," Finn mutters as he stands to his feet. "Can I get you anything, babe?"
"Can I have some coffee, please?"
Finn narrows his eyes, knowing I'm supposed to have a limited amount of caffeine, but I haven't had coffee today. I'm allowed one eight-ounce cup of coffee before cream and sugar are added. Considering I like my coffee iced, the drink ends up being way bigger than the eight ounces.
"Please," I beg. "I haven't had one today."
"Fine," he grumbles. "One iced coffee coming up." He turns and heads for the door.
I notice him and Duncan exchange a look, but nothing is said. Just a simple look, and my mind is still hazy enough from the smoke inhalation that I can't decipher it.
"How do you know it’s... her?" Clara asks, tears in her eyes.
"Other than her age and the fact that she looks like you with black hair, call it a gut feeling," I say as the baby starts to stir and looks up at me with her honey-brown eyes. "Hi, pretty girl," I coo at her, smiling.
The sweet babe lets out a small yawn before I look back up at Clara. She has a look on her face. She isn't sure if she should keep her distance or get closer.
"There's some people here to see you," I say to the little girl, but I'm not sure if she understands. She just stares up at me, sleep still present in her eyes.
I look at Clara, and I've never seen her so overcome with emotion. She's on the brink of tears, her cheeks are flushed, and her lip trembling.
"Clara," I start as I sit the baby up. She’s sucking her thumb like a pacifier, her honey-brown eyes glowing with life. "I understand why you gave her up, but I also know you regret that decision. Now, her adoptive mother is dead, and no one knows where her adoptive father is. She has no one, and if you choose not to take custody of her, she'll go into the system. The choice is yours, and only you can make it. I just thought you deserved the chance to at least meet... your daughter," I tell her, feeling myself getting emotional.
I've been tossing around the idea in my head on my own—if I should keep my baby or give it up for adoption—but this whole thing with Clara and her daughter makes me see it from a whole new perspective.
I don't want anyone else to raise my child. Just because we're young doesn't mean Finn and I won't be good parents. We'll have to work hard, and things will be tough at times, but it's worth it. Our baby will be worth all the effort because he will be ours.
I already love this baby, and giving it up isn't an option. It never should've been.
Clara thought it was, and it’s been tearing her apart. I've learned from her mistakes.
"Can-can I hold her?" she stutters as she sits beside me.
I nod. "I'll warn you. She might scream. She hasn't been happy with being out of my arms. I think she feels safe with me after what she went through," I caution her.
Her lip trembles more. "Thanks."
I lift up the baby and place her on Clara's lap. At first, I worry she will cry and upset Clara, but instead, she stares up into her mother's eyes as if she automatically knows who she is. I sense the connection of their spirits as the baby smiles at her mother before curling up in her embrace, hugging her mother’s arm.
Clara bursts into tears and pulls her child close, crying into her daughter’s hair. “I’m so sorry,” she sobs as she strokes her daughter’s strands with a mother’s touch, soft and loving.
With that, I know Clara isn’t going to let her daughter go ever again.
***
Clara is outside the room talking with the police and social workers about the process of getting her daughter back. It might take some time, but Clara is getting a second chance, and I know she'll be a great mom.
"How are you feeling?" Duncan asks as he sits beside me.
"I'm okay, a bit drained from everything, but I'll be fine. The doctors want to keep me overnight just in case."
Duncan gazes at me, perplexed. "Just in case of what?" he asks.
Moment of truth, Francine. He has the right to know.
"I'm pregnant," I admit, anxiety rushing through my veins faster than the blood.
His face pales, his Adam’s apple bobbing multiple times before he speaks. "How far along?"
I know why he asks. It's been so long since we've talked. If I found out today, logically speaking, he could possibly be the father, but that's not the case.
"Eleven weeks. It took so long to find out because I don't get a period with my birth control, and I haven't dealt with full-blown morning sickness, just some mild nausea here and there," I explain, feeling like I've somehow wronged him, even if that feeling is insane.
"So, it's Finn's kid? That's why he's here?" he asks, with no judgment at all.
"Yes, the baby is his, but that's not why he's here."
I see the dots connecting in Duncan's eyes, and a solemn expression covers his face.
"You guys are back together?"
"Duncan, I—"
"You don't owe me an explanation," he deflects and sends me a fake smile. He can't even hold it in place for more than a second.
"Why do I feel like I do?"
"Because no matter how much you love him, you feel the same way about me," he fills in the blank, honesty covering his speech.
He knows how I feel about him.
"When we spent that night together, it was real. I know when you said you wanted to be with me, that was how you truly felt," he adds, squeezing my hand.
"I know," I say softly.
"I'm not going to fight this, Franny. He's your one. I've known that for a while. That's why I didn't accept it when you asked for us to get back together. I knew at some point you two would get back together, and I didn't want you to feel like you owed me some explanation or apology. You don't," he says, though the conviction wavers in his eyes.
"I still love you," I admit.
He smirks with sadness in his eyes. "I know. I still love you. I had the small hope that for a while there, we were happy together—at least when it was just the two of us.”
“Yeah, we were. You made things easier to deal with, and I’ll never be able to thank you enough or repay you for all you did for me. You’ve been the best friend a girl could ask for,” I say, tears filling my eyes.
“I was never just your friend. Two people who love each other the way we do can’t be just friends,” he mutters, darkness shadowing his features.
He’s breaking off our friendship. He can’t handle being my friend if I’m with Finn. The loss fills me with a heartache not so different from when Finn walked out on me on prom night.
Similar, but not the same.
“Can we ever just be friends again?” I ask.
“Maybe one day, but that day isn’t today, Franny.”
***
There's a knock at my hospital door before it opens, and I'm surprised when I see my mom in a wheelchair with a big smile on her face.
"Mom!" I cry out to her as none other than Nigel fucking O'Reilly wheels her in.
"Oh, baby. Are you okay?" she asks, her voice sounding weak.
"I'll be okay. I rescued about six people from a burning building. It's taken its toll on me," I say, smiling, as she reaches me. She takes my hand in hers, smirking.
"My big, brave girl. That took a lot of courage."
"I'm just so glad you're awake, Mom. Don't you dare ever scare me like that again!" I pull her into a hug, and her arms tighten around my frame.
"Don't worry, honey. I'm here to stay, I promise."
"Where's Finn?" Nigel interrupts.
"He went to get me something decent to eat. I hate hospital food," I tell them, even though I'm imagining beating Nigel in my head.
I don't want him near my mom, but it's her choice, and I'll keep my opinions to myself for her sake.
"Are you sure he's not just getting you something you're craving?" my mom hints.
I'm stunned for a moment before my eyes shift to Nigel. "You told her?" I can't believe him and his big mouth.
"I thought I'd save you the embarrassment, and it gave her the opportunity to calm down before I brought her to see you," he admits, no shame in sight.
"I admit, I was a bit surprised, but it's your life. Whatever you choose to do with this new development, I'll support you, but if Finn doesn't step up, I will chase him around town with a crowbar," she warns with a serious look on her face.
"Oh, he has stepped up, so no need for the weapon, Mom. Retract your claws." I laugh as she squeezes my hand.
"I bring food!" The door bursts open with Finn carrying bags from Whataburger, my favorite fast-food establishment.
"Yay!" I clap with joy.
His eyes widen when he sees his dad and my mom next to my bed.
"Glad to see you're awake, Mrs. Gray," he says with a charming smile.
"Thank you, Finn. Don't worry about me. Just feed my daughter and my grandchild, would you?"
His face pales, but he moves over to me and pulls out the contents of the bag.
One cinnamon roll, a triple cheeseburger with everything on it, a large fry, a Dr Pepper shake, and an order of chicken bites.
"What of that are you eating?" my mom asks.
"All of it," I respond quickly before taking a sip of my shake.
"Her appetite rivals my own," Finn jokes.
"I'm eating for two," I say defensively before shoving a fry into my mouth.
"Still, just... wow. You've never been much of an eater before,” my mom assesses with concern.
"Your grandchild is demanding. I constantly feel like I'm starving. It's a curse."
Everyone laughs, and for the first time in my life, I can feel the tides shifting.
