Restless, p.25
Restless, page 25
"You want it harder, babe?" he rasps as he presses his forehead to mine.
"Yes," I breathe him in.
Then he starts pounding his cock into me, his hips slamming against mine over and over again. He gives me the energy I crave—the high I'm chasing—and it's exactly what I need.
"Fuck," he groans as the ecstasy washes over his features. His hands pin my hips in place as he loses his rhythm, signaling his impending release.
He's close, and I can't wait to see the look on his face when he comes.
He groans so deep and intense as his arms shake, and he delivers one final thrust, tension covering his face. The tension doesn't reach his eyes, though. His icy blues are full of relief and love as he stares at me.
"I love you," he moans before he kisses me passionately.
"I love you, Finn, so much."
***
Finn and I make our way downstairs, and everyone is sitting on the couch, blowing down before school.
"Morning," Tiernan grumbles, looking exhausted.
The guys have been doing shifts of watching over my mom at night. It's the only way Finn gets me to leave the hospital at night.
I don't want her to wake up alone.
Last night was Tiernan's shift.
"Long night?" I ask, but he doesn't look at me.
Tiernan's eyes shift to Finn's, shadows crossing his face.
"What?" Finn groans.
"Your... dad came to the hospital last night," Tiernan says.
I don't know what to say. The asshole has some major balls to show up there after what he put her through. I'll give him that much, but if I see him near her, I'll lose it.
"And the night before that."
"And the night before that."
"Her first night there, too."
They all seem on edge telling us this, shuffling around in their seats.
"He just sits in the room with her and cries. It's sad and scary. I've never even seen him show emotion before," Eoghan mutters, dejected.
A part of me feels a sliver of sympathy for him, but I can't accept the feeling completely. He did this to my mom. I can never forgive him for that. If my mom chooses to—if she wakes up—that’s her choice.
***
Finn and I walk into the hospital together, hoping for some sort of good news. I pray every night that I'll walk into that hospital room, and my mom will sit up and smile at me. It's a foolish dream. I know she'll be weak when she wakes up, but a girl can dream.
We walk into my mom's hospital wing and run right into her doctor.
"Good morning, Miss Gray. I hope to see some improvement from your mother today,” he says for the first time.
"Why today?" I ask as Finn takes my hand in support.
"Because your father showed up to visit an hour ago. I thought he would've called you," he explains, uneasy.
I'm stunned, unable to move for a minute.
"My father?" I say before mouthing, "What the fuck" to Finn. We hurry past the doctor and go straight to my mom's room. The door is open, and it never is.
I rush inside and stop short when I see my father standing by my mom's hospital bed while texting on his phone.
"What are you doing here?" I demand.
He turns to me with a fake, happy smile on his face. "Francine!"
"Cut the pleasantries, Dad. What are you doing here?"
He clears his throat before stepping close to me. "I heard about your mother's... condition. I'm sorry you've had to deal with this on your own, but I'm taking care of this. You should be focusing on school," he says, like he's back to being the man of the house.
Fuck that shit.
He abandoned me.
He never told my mom that he left me alone.
"Taking care of this? She divorced you. This isn't your problem."
"Francine, calm down, sweetie," he says with a smile meant to be disarming, but it's anything but.
"Don't tell me to calm the fuck down," I growl.
"Language!" he hisses with irritation. He isn't pleased with my reaction, but I don't give a damn.
"You abandoned me for six fucking years, and you expect me to believe you suddenly want to help? Bullshit. You don't give a damn about her or me."
"I understand your reluctance, but I know what I'm doing. I'm having her transferred to a facility that has experience with this sort of thing," he mutters.
I'm stunned for a moment as I connect all the dots.
"Oh my god. You're not here to help her. You want to hide her. God forbid any shame come on the Gray family name! I mean, how dare my mother try to kill herself—"
"Silence!" he hisses in disgust.
"—because she's in so much emotional pain that she sees no other way out!" I yell angrily as Finn holds me in place, his hand grasping my wrist tight.
"I think we need to have this discussion in private," my father says, eyeing Finn suspiciously.
"It's not going to happen," Finn grits.
"Finn is my boyfriend, and anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of him. He's already a part of the family anyway," I mutter before placing my hand on my lower belly, signifying the meaning behind my words.
"I'm taking her to another facility. End of discussion."
"No, you're not. I'm her legal and medical power of attorney, not you. I'll gladly take you to court to keep her here. This is where she has support, people who care about her, and she sure as hell won't have that wherever you want to lock her away," I hiss with rage.
He's not going anywhere with her.
"I warn you, Francine, keep fighting this, and I'll revoke your trust fund."
Does he seriously think that scares me?
"Actually, you can't," I say as I reach into my bag and pull out the paper I carry around with me just in case I need it—my mom's legally binding contract that my father is supposed to uphold. "My mom's agreement with Grandpa clearly states so. Your duty to her ended on your fifteenth anniversary. It states that at the point of your divorce, any funds distributed to me or her are ours and cannot be revoked, including my trust fund. I personally don't care, but I'll be happy to bring this in front of a judge to hold you to your end of the bargain, like how once your divorce was finalized, the only contact you were to have with my mom was through me. You taking her away to some facility directly violates such agreement.
"Did Grandpa forget to tell you about the ending clause? In the event that you or he doesn't hold up to your end of the deal, you forfeit your right to the Gray fortune, which would be given over to a trust fund for The Five Families," I say before shoving it into his hand. "If you don't believe me, go ahead and read it. If you think of tearing it up, don't waste the energy. I have dozens of copies."
Pride shines in me when I see the look of disbelief and frustration across my father's face.
"This isn't over," he growls.
"Oh, it is. Stay the fuck away from my mother. You should be good at that. What's another six years of being a hermit?" I snap back as he charges out of the room.
If I ever see that asshole again, it will be too soon.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Her
"Come on, babe," Finn utters as he pulls me from my seat. "Let's go get something to eat," he suggests as he throws his arm around me.
"We can't just—"
"Your mom will be fine for half an hour. We'll just go down the street to Denny's. The doctor will call us if there's any change, okay?"
I love Finn to death, and I know he's saying this because he thinks I need the fresh air, but I'm a control freak, and this is all frustrating.
"Okay, fine," I cave.
He pulls me close and gives me the sweetest kiss ever before we walk out of her hospital room.
"She'll be okay. She's out of danger. It's just a waiting game now," he offers solace.
"I know. I hope she wakes up before my stomach is a dead giveaway," I say, completely serious.
The last thing I want is for her to wake up only to have a heart attack from seeing me with a baby bump.
"She will, and she'll probably be pissed when she finds out about the baby."
"Gee, thanks for the words of encouragement, Casanova," I grumble sarcastically.
"Did you honestly expect her not to be upset? She's your mom. The only reason my dad didn't get pissed when I told him was because he was already ticked off."
I gasp. "You told him?"
"Yeah. I'm not ashamed." He presses the elevator button as we step on, button one lighting up before he turns to me. "My girl and my kid," he whispers before giving me a passionate kiss.
I swear, he's happier about me being knocked up than any guy under thirty I've ever met in my life.
His eyes glimmer as he stares down at me with the same look I've seen in men's eyes when they're about to drop down on one knee and propose.
"No!" I say before rolling my eyes. "You know how I feel about that. Don't even say it."
It's not that I'm against marriage. I'm not. I want to marry Finn someday, but I won't accept a proposal from my being pregnant. He knows how stupid of a reason I think that is to get married.
Plus, we haven't been together long. For him to think that's okay at all is insane.
"I didn't say anything," he mumbles under his breath before smoothing down my hair.
"You were thinking about it."
"Are you a mind reader now, Princess?"
"No, but I'm perceptive, and I know you. You had that look," I explain.
"That look?" He lifts an eyebrow in what must be a challenge, but it just looks so adorable on him.
I can't help laughing. "You know what look I'm talking about, and my answer is no."
"So stubborn," he smirks, like he expects my answer to be exactly what it is.
"I have strong morals and a baby in my belly that likes to turn me into a grouchy bitch."
"Only when you haven't eaten, hence the need for food. You're eating for two now," he says.
"Oh, I know. I could easily eat a cow and still be hungry. I'm gonna get fat," I whine to him as the elevator door opens.
Finn throws his arm around my shoulder as we exit the hospital.
"So dramatic," he jokes, but it's not funny.
"I'm not dramatic. I'm gonna get fat, my boobs will sag, my ass will get flabby, and you won't be able to stand the sight of me naked."
They're all genuine concerns. It doesn't happen to every woman who gives birth, but I've known quite a few women around Grove Hill who couldn't get their pre-baby body back after they gave birth and still struggle years afterward.
"The combination of you and naked in the same sentence is just asking for a repeat of this morning, babe."
"Finn, I'm serious," I press, and he stops us on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, pulling my body into his.
"You listen to me, babygirl, I don't give a damn what your body looks like. I still want to pin you down and hear you scream for me. It's you who does things for me. Your body is sexy as fuck, but it's you I can't do without. If I have to choose between you and a sexy body like yours, I'd choose you every damn time." His words zing right through my body and leave me wanting him. "Understand?"
"Yes."
"Good girl," he praises as he grabs my waist. "Now, food." It's freaky sometimes how Finn can go from ridiculously dominating to being all cute and cuddly.
***
As I said, I felt like eating and still am hungry, but I contained myself minimally. I still ate more than I used to, and that's unsettling.
My body dysmorphia likes to rear its ugly head at the worst times. It's almost like it's trying to trick me into having an eating disorder.
My baby is more important. If I'm going to turn into a fat cow to give my baby what it needs, oh, well. I'd do anything for this baby.
"Feel better?" Finn asks as we step out of the restaurant.
I smile. "Yes. I'm still hungry, though."
He laughs. "Why am I not surprised?" he jokes. "There's an ice cream place around the corner. My treat."
He is so good to me.
We walk around the corner and head toward the ice cream shop, but we stop right outside it when I suddenly smell smoke.
"What's wrong?" he asks, looking at me, confused.
"Do you smell that?"
He sniffs the air. "Probably the barbecue joint a few streets down."
"No, it's not," I say when I turn and see an apartment building up in flames, a bunch of people running out of the building screaming.
"Fuck," he curses.
He grabs my hand, and we race over to the complex. There are plenty of people standing around, and yet there's no firetruck siren or cop cars in sight.
"Finn, what do we do?" I ask, worried about the fire.
He turns to me and slips off his vest. "Call it in. I'm going to see if anyone is stuck inside. Do not follow me, okay?"
"No, Finn—"
"Look at me, babe," he demands as he pulls me close, staring into my eyes. "Do as I say. I'll be back. I promise. Just stay right here."
I don't fully believe him. How can I when the fire blazes a good ten feet above the building?
I quickly pull him in for a kiss, as if this is the last time I'll ever feel him or taste him.
"Don't you dare break that promise," I warn.
He runs off toward the fire, and I watch with a heavy heart as Finn disappears inside the building.
Even as tears fill my eyes, worried for his safety, I pull out my phone and call in the fire. Instead of being greeted with the news that firefighters are on their way, I'm told something completely unsettling.
"We've received multiple calls, ma'am. We'll get someone out there to deal with this as soon as possible."
"What? No, this is an entire apartment building. You need to send someone now," I demand, but the stubborn dispatcher doesn't change their tone.
My vision flashes between the crowd forming around the building and where Finn disappeared. He's been gone for a while, and worry is sinking in.
Two parts of my mind war with each other.
Finn told me to stay put.
But what if he's hurt or needs help?
Worst of all, help isn't coming. Instead of doing nothing like all the worthless people standing around, I run over to the building, being pushed back by a blast of heat worse than an oven.
"Finn!" I yell his name, but all I hear in response is the crackle of the fire. "Finnick!" I yell at him again but get the same result.
Fuck this shit.
My boyfriend is in there, and I'm not going to be a coward. What can a little fire do, anyway?
I pick up a rock off the ground and launch it at the glass box containing the in case of emergency axe. The glass shatters, and I quickly grab the weapon before running into the building engulfed in flames.
"Finn!" I scream, holding my sleeve over my mouth to keep from breathing too much smoke.
Heat rises, and so does smoke. As long as I stay low, I should be fine.
"Finnick!" I yell as I hear banging coming from behind a door near me.
I swing the axe as hard as I can through the door, but the fire seems to have done quite a bit of damage to the sturdiness of the wood. The door breaks in half in one swing.
A family of five runs through the opening, coughing their gratitude. I instruct them to stay low and go straight for the exit before moving on.
I come to a fork in the hall, and I stand there, screaming Finn's name as loud as I can, which doesn't sound loud to me over the rumble of the fire. I worry I won't find him, and that kiss will be our last contact forever.
This can't be it, can it?
I hear crying, but it’s not an adult. It sounds like a baby.
Am I imagining it?
I run toward the crying and slam my fist against the door.
"Is anyone in there?" I yell, my voice hoarse. All that welcomes me is the baby screaming louder. I swing the axe against the door repeatedly, but the door is more intact than the others. It doesn't want to break through.
I have to get through. There's a poor, innocent baby stuck in there.
I abandon the axe and run at the door, slamming my shoulder into the small break the axe made. It budges a little, creaking with resistance.
I do it again, and the door completely crumbles beneath me. The crying is louder now, but it’s the only thing I hear as I pull myself up from the floor.
There's a body on the floor covered in blood, probably the baby's mother, and the poor baby seems to be in a playpen in the corner of the room, covered by a quilt.
The quilt must be venting the smoke because it's so thick my eyes burn as I make my way over to the baby, coughing.
What kind of monster would kill the mother or caregiver of a small child and leave the child completely alone? Who knows how long it would've been before someone checked on them?
I pull the quilt off the playpen and lift the baby into my arms. She immediately grasps at my sweater, clinging to me for dear life. I grab the quilt and turn to run out of there, but the beam holding the next floor up breaks under the pressure of the blazing fire.
I hold the screaming child closer to me as the horrible situation sinks in, a pit growing in my stomach.
We're trapped.
"Finn!" I scream, hoping wherever he is, he can hear me, but the smoke races into my airway, choking me. I move onto my knees trying to get some air, but the smoke is too thick. It reaches all the way down to the carpet. There's practically no oxygen left.
We're out of time.
My mind gets hazy as I hold the poor baby close.
She's barely begun to live—no older than six months old—and she's stuck in this burning building.
My baby hasn't even taken his first breath. He's barely existed, growing in my belly, for a little more than two months.
I won't know if he's going to take after me or Finn. Would he have blue eyes or green? Blonde hair or black? Would his smile brighten the lives of everyone around him?
What about Finn? Is he going to be okay?
You're strong.
Finn's words from a few days ago fill my mind as I struggle to breathe.
You're a fighter, and you don't take crap from anyone. It's one of the things I love about you. Your amazing willpower, how resilient you are. You're not a princess. You're a badass queen.
