Size matters, p.8
Size Matters, page 8
“Right, okay. Yeah, that makes total sense.”
Bull smiled.
Sweet leaned up against the car as he looked at Maddie. His gaze ran up and down her body, assessing her. “You ever had some ink?”
Maddie shook her head.
“You know, if you ever change your mind, I don’t mind being your first.” He winked at Maddie, and the smile on her lips fell.
“Er, I better go.”
Bull wasn’t going to let her get away that easily. He grabbed her arm and looked back to Pat and Sweet. “Keep an eye on the shop.”
Maddie didn’t fight him as he pulled her into his office, and this time, he slammed the door closed and locked it.
She had nowhere to go.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“You’re going to tell me what your problem is.”
“I don’t have a problem. This is insane. I’m going back to work.”
He stood by the door, arms folded, and wouldn’t let her pass.
“Seriously, Bull, I have work to do.”
“I know exactly what you’ve got to do, seeing as I was the one who gave you the work in the first place. Remember, I hired you.”
“Yes, I do remember, very clearly.” She folded her arms beneath her chest, and for a short second, he was distracted by the fullness of her tits. He wanted them in his hands, but he quickly got to the point.
Last night had been going so great until Maddie froze on him.
“You know I would never hurt you.”
“I don’t know what this is about.”
“You wanted my kisses last night, Maddie. You were enjoying my touch.”
“Is that what this is about?” she asked. “Because I changed my mind. A woman can do that, you know? She can change her mind.”
“I have no problem about you changing your mind. What I want to know is why.”
“I don’t have to tell you why,” she said.
“No? And you think that’s fair?” he asked.
“Does it matter if it’s fair? I don’t have to give a reason. I…” She closed her eyes and held one hand out. “I’m sorry if I gave you the wrong impression.”
“Bull fucking shit. Don’t try to play me, Maddie. It won’t fucking work. I’m the master at that shit.” He took a step toward her. He was a grown man and could handle a shit load of rejection, not that he’d experienced much of it. Most had come from this woman in front of him, but she had also shown him part of herself. The part that had started out enjoying his touch. “I saw you, Maddie. I felt you. I … I know you were like fire in my arms, ready to go up in flames. I felt it. I know what it was like. I wanted you again, and again. You craved my kisses, you wanted my hands on your body. What the fuck did I do to change it?”
Tears glistened in her eyes, and her lip wobbled.
She shook her head, biting her lip, and he saw how torn up she was. It broke his fucking heart. No woman had ever hit him like this, but damn it, Maddie was proving to be more special than he anticipated, and it was fucking killing him inside.
“Maddie, talk to me.”
She took a deep breath. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
This made him laugh, and it wasn’t a natural one either. This was very much forced.
“Maddie, I was there, I felt the difference between us. I know something wasn’t right.”
She licked her lips, which she pursed immediately after.
He watched her sigh, and then, she nodded. “I … I’m not like the other women you’ve been with,” she said.
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You haven’t spread your legs for every single guy at the club. That isn’t something to be upset about.”
She shook her head. “No, that’s not what I meant.” She unfolded her arms and moved her hands up and down her body. “I don’t look like the women you go for.”
He stared at her and knew instantly what she referred to. She wasn’t slender. She was all curves everywhere.
“So?” he asked.
She looked up to the ceiling, and tears fell down her cheeks. He hated seeing her like this, so cut up, so miserable. This wasn’t what he wanted her to feel.
He took a step toward her, and Maddie took a step back.
Bull stopped. “Did you like my kisses?”
“What does that have to do with it?”
“Just answer the question.” He needed her. Seeing her cry and hearing the slight break in her voice broke him. All he wanted to do was pull her into his arms and tell her how fucking desirable she was. How he ached for her. How he’d waited so long to tell her that he’d wanted her.
For years, he’d been admiring her curves, wanting to get closer to her, but she seemed so far away.
“Yes.”
“Yes, what?”
“Damn it, Bull. You know I liked your kisses. You know I loved having your hands on me. I loved it. It felt incredible, and I didn’t want it to stop, but I don’t want to be a damn pity fuck. I don’t want to be that person. Not again.”
“Not again? You mean this has happened before?”
She released a growl. “Ugh, can’t you just accept that I’m not the kind of woman you want?”
“Hell no. Not when you don’t fucking see what is clearly right under your stubborn nose.”
“I know how this goes. You have your fun. You’ve done your deed to charity and then I’m tossed aside.”
“First of all, I have never in all my life been so insulted, and considering I fucking run Chaos and Carnage, that’s saying something. I would never pity fuck you, Maddie French. In fact, what I want to do is strip you naked, bend you over all the surfaces, and fuck every single part of you. I crave you that much.”
Her mouth fell open, and he nodded. “I don’t know what has gotten into your thick fucking skull, but when I look at you, I don’t see what you do.” There was no way he was going to let the word fat fall from his lips. He didn’t see her like that. She wasn’t fat, not to him. He closed the distance between them, grabbed her hand, and pressed it against his dick. “I wouldn’t get hard to pity you. I’m not here thinking about some other woman I want to stick my cock into. No, this is all you. Every single part of you. I didn’t give you a damn job out of pity. I gave it to you so I would finally get the chance to be close to you. To chase after you, because Maddie, you have been a pain in my ass for a long fucking time.”
“What?”
“Yeah, I’ve been wanting to approach you for some time now. This isn’t a new feeling for me. I’ve watched you for a long time, Maddie. I see you. Other women, they don’t hold a candle to you.”
He wrapped an arm around her waist and took possession of her lips, hard. At first, she was tense in his arms, but slowly, she ran her hands up his chest and wrapped them around his neck.
Bull loved her juicy ass. It was so full and ripe. All he wanted to do was land a nice smack to the curve and to feel it fill his hands.
He pulled away from the kiss. “I want to know who made you think you were a pity fuck, and then we’re going to start taking this slow.”
“Slow?”
“Yeah, Maddie, you’re going to go on a date with me, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”
Chapter Seven
Maddie had been on several dates. She’d gone to prom. None of them made her feel quite so nervous as this date Bull had demanded. She kept expecting him to call to put an end to their date, for him to apologize, but her cell phone seemed oddly silent.
He was going to pick her up at her apartment and they were going to the bar for some food and dancing. It seemed like a simple enough date. Maddie couldn’t help but wonder what would go wrong first. Would he show up? Would he get the classic mystery emergency that came in time before the bill?
“Stop this, Maddie. Stop this.”
She hated how pessimistic she had gotten in the past few years. The dates she’d been on before had been awful. No doubt about it. No matter how bad it had gotten, she had remained confident she’d find someone. Only now, she was the one spiraling into the deep pool of doubt and depression.
She looked in the mirror.
A few strokes of mascara and some lipstick were all she wore. She was never someone who know how to really doll herself up. She had opted for a pair of jeans, her nicest, along with some boots and a checkered shirt that she had left a few buttons open.
Bull had said casual, and this was what she had chosen.
She’d left her hair down, and because of how heavy her hair was, it remained flat. To get any real volume, she normally had to curl it. The glasses were by her bedside cabinet, since she wore contacts.
Maddie left her bedroom and went into the kitchen. She grabbed a glass from the cabinet and poured herself a drink of water. She had read drinking water before a meal, and even after a meal, helped the feeling of fullness start.
She finished off the first pint of water, then poured herself a second. With that done, she cleaned and washed the glass.
She entered her sitting room, sat down on the sofa, and stared at the clock.
He had three minutes left to arrive.
Maddie hated how hopeful she was as she watched the clock tick. Time was already moving. She was older this second than the last. A constant moving force. Each time the clock hand ticked, it was another moment wasted.
When the clock finally landed on seven, she knew he wasn’t going to show up.
She got to her feet, intending to get changed, when her buzzer sounded.
Maddie frowned and walked over to the door. She clicked on the buzzer. “Hello,” she said.
“Maddie, it’s me. I can’t believe this piece of shit actually works.”
“Bull?”
“Who else? You got multiple dates set up? Are you going to let me up?”
“You came.”
He chuckled. “I told you I would.”
She hadn’t believed it.
“Are you going to let me come up?” he asked.
“No, I mean, I’m coming down. Give me a minute.” Maddie let go of the buzzer and looked around her apartment. She didn’t want him coming up here. None of her dates had made it to her apartment.
Her hands shook as she grabbed her bag and keys. She took the stairs down and saw Bull waiting for her outside. He hadn’t seen her.
Should I go?
Nerves hit her hard.
Bull turned around and held his hands out. He wore his leather cut, a pair of jeans, and his trademark white shirt. She wondered if he owned shares in the white-shirt-making business or something like that.
Smiling to herself, she took a step toward him, then another, and another. She was out the door and in front of him within seconds.
“You came,” she said.
“I did come, and I’ve got this,” he said. He held up a daisy. It was a single large daisy.
“It’s beautiful.”
He tore some of the stem off, moved close to her, and slid it in the front pocket of her shirt.
She smiled. “Thank you.”
“I don’t know why, but I was expecting you to have your hair pinned back.”
“Do you not like it?” she asked, running her fingers through her very boring hair.
Bull stood in front of her, stroking her hair out of the way, curving his hand around her face, and drawing her close. He pressed a kiss to her lips, and she couldn’t help but smile.
“I do.”
Her heart raced. Already this date was winning points way before they were getting started.
“I’m going to let you off tonight as I’ve brought the car,” Bull said and pointed at his car. “One day though, you’re going to need to learn to ride at my back, baby.”
Maddie groaned. “I’ve never ridden on the back of a bike before.”
“Don’t worry, it’s a lot easier than you might think. You have an expert right here.” He tapped his chest and winked at her. “I’ll talk you through everything when it’s time to ride a bike, but for now, your ride awaits.” He got to the car and held the door open for her.
“You’re going to have plenty of practice to ride my bike at other times.”
She nodded and was pleased she wasn’t going to have to deal with riding his bike tonight. She wouldn’t be able to handle those pesky nerves of hers. When the time came, he was going to want her to hold on to him. Not only that, what if she toppled them both over? That could end up being the worst date of all.
Bull closed the door to his car and rounded the vehicle, then got into the driver’s seat. The car was much better than his bike.
You can do this. It’s just a date.
She shoved her keys into her purse and rested it on her lap. With each moment that passed, she wondered if he regretted asking her on this date. She hated these nerves. They were a giant pain in the butt.
He reached over and grabbed her hand. “Babe, when we’re on the bike, you’re going to have to really hold on to me.”
“I … er … I don’t know…”
He pressed a kiss to her knuckles. “Relax.” He locked their fingers together. “It’s just the two of us.
She nodded her head. “Right. Yes. Right.”
I’m not affected by him being so close to me. This is normal. I’m just sitting beside him while he’s driving his car.
He revved the engine and she gasped. Her hold on his hand tightened, and he chuckled.
“I’m going to take it slow,” he said. “You know I’m not a dangerous man.”
She laughed. “Of course. Why would I think for a second that the leader of the Chaos and Carnage MC is dangerous?”
He glanced over at him, and she smiled. “Ah, you’re teasing me.”
“Just a little bit.”
She liked the way he held her hand. It helped her to feel somewhat grounded, and she was a little thankful he hadn’t brought his bike to this date. She didn’t want to be afraid, and riding on the back of his bike, she knew there was a risk that would happen.
Maddie held his hand, not wanting to let him go. It was an odd comfort. This wasn’t so bad.
“Maddie, you’ve got to learn to trust me, babe,” Bull said.
It was the only warning she got before he pressed his foot to the gas and sped up.
She gasped. He wasn’t breaking any speed limits, and his car felt amazing and smooth.
She spotted the bar up ahead, and he slowly brought the car to a stop.
“We’re here,” he said.
She looked up at the neon sign of the bar. The drive hadn’t taken long at all.
“Oh,” Maddie said.
Bull still held her hand. “You made it in one piece.”
She nodded. “Of course, I did. It wasn’t like you were driving like a maniac.”
He let her hand go. “Come on, it’s time for us to head on inside.” He turned off the ignition, and Maddie opened the car door. Her legs felt a little wobbly. She didn’t even realize how tense she had been.
Bull came to her, wrapping an arm around her waist, and she happily sank against him. He chuckled. “This is one of the reasons you’ve got to learn to relax. You’re tense from riding a car with me. Imagine what it would be like when you finally ride at my back.”
“Bikes are death traps.”
“Not mine. I would never put your life in danger, Maddie, you’ve got to know that.”
She lifted her head. “I do.” She didn’t even know how she knew, just that she did.
He smiled. “How are those legs?”
“Like jelly.”
He chuckled again. “They will be for some time. Come on, let’s go and get some dinner.” He held her hand as they walked across the parking lot. Loud music came from the bar, and Maddie saw several people standing out in the night, smoking. There were one or two people on their own, and a small crowd talking amongst themselves.
They entered the bar together, and several heads turned in their direction. Maddie wondered what they were all thinking, but Bull just walked right up to the spare seats in the restaurant part of the bar and held out her chair.
If she had a point system, he would be high up on the list.
Bull sat opposite her and smiled. “How are you feeling?”
“Fine. Nervous, but fine.”
“You have nothing to be nervous about,” he said. “We’re just two consenting adults having a date.”
“Have you been on many dates?”
“Not many successful ones, and that’s if they showed up.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
He picked out the menus and handed her one. “Why?”
“I don’t know. I’m sure I’ve seen you around town with women before.”
“Women have followed me around, but we both know a stalker doesn’t qualify as a date.”
She chuckled, taking the menu from him.
“You didn’t tell me about the guy. The pity guy.”
“There’s nothing to tell.”
“There’s a story there.”
She sighed, looking up from her menu. “Fine. It was my prom date, if you must know. I’m not giving names. I’m not even going to tell you about him. There’s nothing else you need to know about him. We had a great prom. He asked me, and I thought he liked me. We had sex that night, and it was awful. It turned out the only reason he slept with me was out of pity. He said everyone should leave high school without their virginity intact.” She shrugged. “That’s all you’re getting.”
“You know that’s bullshit, right?”
“What part?”
“The part he didn’t make it good for you.”
She shrugged. “I … we were both kids.”
“Yeah, and at eighteen, I knew how to satisfy a woman. I’m so sick and tired of these amateur assholes who think they know best when they clearly know fuck all.” He looked down at his menu. “Tell me about a successful date. One that I can compete with.”
She laughed. Maddie tried to contain her amusement, but it didn’t work.
The thought of having a successful date seemed almost too good to be true, and it was.
“That doesn’t sound good,” he said.
“Let’s not talk about previous dates. Believe me, this one is the best so far.”
