A dutiful daughter, p.8
A Dutiful Daughter, page 8
‘It’s their pity I can’t take!’ Without knowing it, Grace was echoing George’s feelings. ‘I hate working in that mill. George was going to make all the difference to my life. We were going to get a wee house, and bairns, and I’d have stayed at home and looked after him… and he’d have looked after me.’ The tears flowed again. ‘Everyone’s getting married but me! Jessie Kennedy and her sister have just gone off to Canada, and you’ll be in America with your Donald soon enough, and I’ll be stuck here with n-nothing to look forward to for the rest of my life!’
As May progressed Mirren began to find every day a struggle. It became harder and harder to stay awake at her machine.
‘God love ye, hen, ye look like a wee neglected flower that someone’s jammed intae a vase and forgotten tae water. Here.’ Libby McDaid reached into her shopping bag during the morning break and produced a bottle and a small wine glass. ‘Have some of my tonic.’ She rubbed at the used glass with a corner of her apron and filled it almost to the brim.
‘I’m fine, I don’t need it.’
‘Then take it tae please me. Every drop of it, mind,’ Libby ordered, and Mirren had no option but to accept the drink. In the weeks before their summer holidays many of the mill women treated themselves to a bottle of cheap sherry. A glassful was removed and the bottle topped up again with phosphorine. Every day at the morning break the bottle was vigorously shaken and a small glassful taken. The millworkers swore by the ‘tonic’ which, they claimed, gave them the energy to enjoy their holidays.
It was cloyingly sweet to the taste and strong enough to tickle the back of Mirren’s throat, but she swallowed it down under Libby’s watchful eye and handed back the empty glass.
‘Ye should get yersel’ a bottle of sherry, pet, and some phosphorine from the chemist,’ Libby advised as she corked the bottle and stowed it back in her bag. ‘There’s nothin’ like it tae set ye up.’
‘Can I have some?’ Ethel Gemmell asked eagerly.
‘’Deed no, milady, you’re far too young tae be takin’ spirits! Anyway, wee lassies aye have plenty of energy.’
‘Mirren’s not much older than me. How is it that she needs sherry and I don’t?’
‘Mirren works hard at home as well as here. Her mammy’s ill, not like yours, waitin’ tae put yer dinner on the table every night… and tuck ye up in yer bed and read ye a story an’ all,’ Libby added, and the girl flushed and stuck out her lower lip.
‘Nob’dy takes me seriously in this place.’
‘That’s because ye’re the youngest and the newest, hen,’ Libby told her, putting her bag out of the way and moving to her machines as the mistress’s approach signalled the end of the work break. ‘Another wee lassie’ll come in sooner or later, then it’ll be your turn tae torment her the way we torment you.’
‘We were wonderin’, me and Bob, if ye’d stand with me at my wedding,’ Agnes said tentatively when Mirren brought Thomas back from his Sunday visit to his grandmother.
‘Me?’
‘Aye. Bob’s first wife’s brother’s standin’ with him and I’d like you tae be my witness.’
Mirren looked from one to the other. ‘But what would my mother say?’
‘Does she have tae know?’ Agnes’s fingers were twisting round each other nervously.
‘She’d be sure to find out. Is there not someone you work beside that you’d like to ask?’
Bob’s hand closed about Agnes’s shoulder. ‘Aye, but Agnes wants you,’ he told Mirren in his usual quiet, firm way. ‘We talked about it and we both feel that we should have family from our first marriages at our weddin’ tae show that we’re keepin’ faith with those who’ve been taken from us.’
Mirren looked at the two of them, so perfect for each other and so determined to do everything properly. ‘I’d be honoured to stand with you, Agnes,’ she said, and the young woman’s face lit up.
‘Yer mother needn’t ever know.’
‘She will, for I’m going to tell her.’
‘D’ye think that’s wise?’
‘I’m not going to let your marriage be turned into something that has to be kept secret. I’m going to tell them all,’ Mirren said firmly.
Logan, Belle and her mother all stared for a long moment, open-mouthed, when Mirren told them that she was to be one of the witnesses at Agnes’s marriage to Bob. Then Helen said flatly, ‘Ye’ll have nothin’ tae do with it.’
‘I’ve given my word.’
‘Then ye can just take it back again. Logan, tell her!’
‘Mother’s right, Mirren. Ye can’t have any part in this… this business.’ He made it sound like a public hanging.
‘Why not?’
‘Because it’s not decent,’ Belle said.
‘What’s not decent about it?’
‘Ye know well enough,’ Helen snapped. ‘Agnes promised herself before God tae our Crawford for the rest of her life.’
‘And for the rest of his life too. She’s Crawford’s widow now.’
‘It’s not his fault he’s dead,’ Logan said through lips so pursed that the words had to squeeze themselves out.
‘It’s not her fault either.’
‘Don’t be cheeky!’ Helen ordered, and all at once Mirren understood why young Ethel felt so frustrated and humiliated when the other women in the twining department treated her like a child. But having gone this far she wasn’t going to give in.
‘I’m not being cheeky, Mother; I’m just telling you that I’ve given my word to Agnes and I’m standing by it.’
‘If our Crawford was here…’ Helen began ominously.
‘If our Crawford was here, Agnes wouldn’t be thinking of marrying Bob McCulloch. I’ll make some tea,’ Mirren said, and escaped to the kitchen.
Robbie followed her a few minutes later. ‘I doubt if there’s been such a stir in Maxwellton Street since they burned the Bargarran witches. They’re all huddled together in there, fretting over yer insubordination.’
‘I don’t see that I’m doing anything wrong.’
‘Neither do I, and I’m pleased for Agnes and wee Thomas.’
‘I wish you’d said that earlier.’
‘Ach, I cannae be bothered with those family consultations. I don’t even listen tae half of what’s said. But I did speak up for you after ye’d left. That’s why I’ve been banished in here. I’d like tae attend the wedding too, if ye think it’d be all right with Agnes and Bob.’
‘Oh, would you, Robbie? It would mean a lot to Agnes!’
‘Why not? We’ll have a good time for once.’ He eyed the trembling pile of saucers and cups in her hand. ‘Mebbe I should take them.’
She relinquished her burden to him with relief and held her hands out before her. ‘Look at the way I’m shaking!’
‘Ye shouldn’t let them upset ye.’
‘I know. It’s just…’ She shrugged and let the words trail away. It was just everything – missing Donald, worrying about Grace, who seemed to be locked forever into a downward spiral of misery now that she had lost George completely; and over and around everything there was the tiredness that never left her and made all the little everyday problems in her life take on gigantic proportions.
7
‘Ye still look awful peely-wally, hen. Come dancin’ with me and Ella on Saturday,’ Ruby Liddell suggested as Mirren parcelled up her order in the fried-fish shop. ‘It’ll do ye good.’
‘Aye, we could go tae one of the Glasgow dance halls. What d’ye say, Mirren?’ Ella coaxed.
‘I don’t know. I have to think of Donald…’ To Mirren’s mind the Glasgow ballrooms, more sophisticated than anything Paisley had to offer, were not suitable venues for engaged women.
‘Och, we’re only goin’ out tae enjoy ourselves, not huntin’ for husbands,’ Ella protested.
‘You speak for yersel’,’ Ruby told her, leaning comfortably against the counter and opening one end of the packet Mirren had just wrapped for her.
‘Mebbe you are, Ruby, but I’m not.’ For some reason known to nobody but herself, Ella always insisted on going home unescorted, no matter how much she had enjoyed her evening. ‘We can just have a nice evenin’ out then take ourselves home. Come on, Mirren, ye need tae do somethin’ just for yerself now and again.’
‘Ella’s talking sense tae ye,’ Vanni chimed in. The shop was empty apart from Ruby, and Maria was in the back shop peeling potatoes. Vanni checked his bubbling vats with a quick glance, then came to lean on the counter. ‘You’re too pale. What is it they say about all work and no play making Jack a dull boy? You work hard and if ye don’t enjoy yerself sometimes, there’s no reason for living.’
Ella raised an eyebrow at him. ‘You work hard too, Vanni. When d’you get the chance tae enjoy yerself?’
He gave a wry shrug. ‘I’m married. For me it’s different.’
‘The best perfume in the world, that. Fresh chips with plenty of vinegar on them.’ Ruby sniffed deeply at the steam rising from the paper packet in her hand, then pulled a chip out and blew on it before popping it into her mouth. ‘By God that’s hot!’ she mumbled through the mouthful.
‘Vanni’ll fry them in cold fat for ye next time,’ Ella offered.
Ruby settled herself comfortably against the counter as she chewed. ‘You should enjoy yerself while ye can, Mirren, because we never know what’s ahead of us. I mind when my auntie went, God rest her, her oldest lassie insisted on keepin’ tae a year of mourning for her. She wouldnae go anywhere or wear anythin’ but black. She even kept the curtains drawn all the time. And what happened?’ Ruby paused for dramatic effect and took the chance to eat another chip.
‘We don’t know, since it’s you that’s supposed tae be tellin’ the story,’ Ella pointed out.
‘She went down with the tuberculosis six months intae her mournin’ time and she was lyin’ alongside her ma before the year was up. Just seventeen she was. They buried her in her black clothes so’s she’d not break her pledge.’ Ruby licked her fingers delicately.
‘A sad story,’ Vanni commented, while Ella jeered, ‘So ye’re telling poor Mirren here that she should enjoy herself because she might come down with tuberculosis any day now?’
‘I’m sayin’,’ Ruby corrected her with dignity, ‘that we have tae take our pleasures when we can, for we never know what might lie ahead. And that goes for all of us, even you with yer smart-alecky tongue, Ella Caldwell.’
Ella ignored her. ‘So ye’ll come tae the dancin’ with us, Mirren?’
Tired though she was, Mirren felt her spirits lift and her feet itch at the prospect of dancing to a proper orchestra in a real ballroom. ‘Mebbe just this once…’
Ella beamed, just as Maria arrived unexpectedly in their midst.
‘This isn’t a restaurant,’ she snapped at Ruby. ‘Once ye’ve bought the goods ye’re supposed tae eat them somewhere else, instead of holding my staff back with yer natterin’!’
Ruby swept a glance round the empty shop as Vanni hurriedly returned to his vats and Ella and Mirren did their best to look busy. ‘I cannae see a single person waitin’ this side of the counter.’
‘There’s more tae their work than servin’ the likes of you. There’s floors tae be swept and counters tae be wiped, and potatoes tae be cut up and fish tae be battered ready for the rush after the picture houses empty. Though I grant ye,’ Maria said, her glare piercing her husband and her two assistants in turn, ‘that most of the folk on this side of the counter seem tae think it’s all done by the elves when they’re not lookin’. And don’t encourage customers tae stand around like that,’ she ordered her staff when Ruby flounced out, muttering. ‘Ella, get another bag of potatoes peeled and cut. Mirren, you can do the fish.’
Fortunately Robbie was at home on Saturday evening, so Mirren was able to go out with a clear conscience after seeing to her mother. It had been a silent week; Helen’s fury at her daughter’s defiance still thickened the air and Mirren was glad, as she plumped up the pillows and tucked in the bedclothes, to be getting away from it for a few hours.
‘I’ll not be late back.’
‘Don’t spoil your evening on my account,’ Helen said huffily. ‘I’m only your mother… my wishes don’t matter a bit.’
Mirren refused to be drawn. ‘Robbie’ll be in the kitchen if you need anything,’ she said briskly, and escaped. ‘You’ll mind and make her a cup of tea at nine o’clock, Robbie? And mebbe a biscuit if she’s in the mood to take one.’
‘I know, I know.’ He had settled himself at the table with his engineering books. ‘Go and enjoy yerself… and try tae forget all about this place for a wee while.’
Ruby was waiting for her at the top of Well Street. As they hurried down the street she complained vigorously that the one thing she didn’t like about going dancing with Ella was the way everything had to be kept a secret.
‘I’ve tae go through this palaver two and three times a week just because she likes these old aunties of hers tae think she’s workin’ in the fried-fish shop every night. Ye’d think that at her age she could just tell them straight out about the dancin’ and be damned tae what they think.’
Like Mirren, Ella loved dancing, but her aunts had refused to allow her to enrol in Mr Primrose’s academy. When she found evening work in the fried-fish shop, however, they approved since she was earning extra money, while at the same time keeping herself busy and out of harm’s way. The trusting souls were under the impression that she worked in the shop six evenings a week, when in actual fact she only worked two evenings, leaving four available for pleasure.
‘I think she enjoys the mystery of it,’ Mirren said as they went through the close.
‘Well I could do without the mysteries.’ Ruby stuck her head out of the close to survey the back court. ‘Good, there’s nob’dy here.’ She bounced into the open space and Mirren, following her, was almost struck by a cloth bag that suddenly descended from above.
‘That happened tae me the first few times. Ye have tae be ready for it.’ Ruby deftly caught the bag and after a few minutes Ella came skimming down the stairs to strip off the clothing she usually wore for the fried-fish shop in the shelter of the close.
‘I’m sayin’ tae Mirren, why don’t ye just tell yer aunties the truth?’ Ruby grumbled. ‘What can they dae tae you at your age?’
‘They’d find some way tae make my life a misery. Hold that.’ Ella dumped her blouse and skirt, still warm from her body, into Mirren’s arms and hauled her dance dress from the bag. Slipping it over her head with the dexterity of one in the habit of dressing swiftly, she emerged from the folds to say, ‘The last time I did something tae annoy Aunt Lillian they didnae feed me for a week. If it hadnae been for Vanni and his fish suppers, I’d’ve died of starvation. Button me up, Mirren.’
‘That’s terrible!’ Mirren had never met Ella’s aunts, and the more she heard of them, the less she wanted to make their acquaintance. Her fingers slipped and stumbled over the buttons in her haste to get away from the close before one of them appeared.
‘That’s the way they’ve punished me since I got to be too big for the strap. Ask Ruby… sometimes she’d share her playtime piece with me at school because I’d not had any food at home.’
‘Then the two of us went hungry,’ Ruby grunted, stuffing the discarded clothes into the bag while Ella combed out her hair.
‘What would happen if your aunts discovered that you don’t work at the shop every night?’ Mirren wanted to know.
‘They won’t because they’d never dream of buying food they’d not cooked themselves. Where’s my handbag?’
‘Here, but leave the lipstick till we get tae the hall,’ Ruby ordered. ‘We’ll miss half the evenin’ if we don’t go now!’
The bag, now holding Ella’s working clothes, was wedged into a small space behind the bins, and the three of them ran through the close and up the street, arriving at the tram stop in Wellmeadow just as a Glasgow tram came along.
The ballroom was huge and crowded. Chandeliers sparkling above poured bright light over the throng and a full-piece orchestra played on the stage at one end of the great hall.
‘There’s empty seats.’ Ruby scurried ahead to claim the chairs while Ella, her face now glowing prettily with colour from the little tubes and bottles in her bag, took Mirren’s arm and pulled her along. ‘Stop gawpin’ – we don’t want folk thinkin’ we’ve never been tae a Glasgow ballroom before.’
‘I haven’t been to anywhere as fancy as this.’ When Mirren first left school, her parents would never have allowed her to go to any of the Glasgow halls, and since Donald was an indifferent dancer with no interest in learning, the Paisley halls had suited both of them. ‘Do you and Ella come here a lot?’
‘Oh yes.’
Mirren wished that she hadn’t agreed to come with the other two. Most of the girls there were dressed in what seemed to her eyes to be the height of fashion. Even Ella and Ruby were smart and sophisticated and, beside them, Mirren felt shabby in her best navy-blue frock with white dots. It had been her best for years and it was sadly out of date, but she couldn’t afford to spend money on luxuries like new clothes for herself. Ella bought clothes with the money she earned at the fried-fish shop; strict though her aunts were, they allowed her to keep it, under the impression that it was all being put away in a bank account. Although Ruby didn’t earn any more than Mirren in her job as a desk girl, checking the yarn into then back out of the twisting department and keeping a record of each machine’s output, she considered herself to be a little above the barefoot women who worked the machines. Because of that, and because she came from a large family, all as yet at home and all earning, she made a point of dressing well when out for the evening.
In an effort to take her mind off her own appearance Mirren concentrated hard on the dance floor. ‘What dance is that they’re doing? I’ve not seen it before.’
