Ava, p.3
Ava, page 3
As she gazed at the white ceiling tiles and dusty incandescent bulbs, she zipped and buttoned her pants. Then she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing. Slow, deep breaths in through her nose and out through her mouth.
Once she felt calmer, she looked at the counter. There were, without any doubt, two lines on the test, one with a plus sign below it.
She grabbed a couple of paper towels and stuffed the test into her purse before going back to the empty break room and tossing her uneaten lunch in the trash. She focused on breathing and listening to the soft ticking of the clock over the door as she sat with her head in her hands and her elbows resting on the table.
Oh, my God . . . I’m not ready to be a mom, am I? At twenty-two? I can’t have a baby now. I know Spencer will support me. That’s the right decision. Right? But when is “ready”? It’s going to be okay either way. Either way? What if I decide to have a baby? That would be okay, too . . . right? There are lots of mothers my age. Why not? My choice. My choice. What’s my choice? Fucking hell . . .
When her lunch hour ended, Larkin went back to the lab. She set her purse on the desk, making sure the top was securely zipped, and stood motionless as she stared at the top of her bag.
“Have a good lunch?” Susan asked as she walked across the lab to Larkin’s desk. “Lemme guess. Chicken salad? Egg salad? Chicken and dumplings? Chicken parmesan?” she teased.
Larkin turned with a start, gave a half-hearted smile, and said, “No. I wasn’t really hungry.” She looked ashen and on the verge of tears.
Susan gave her a look of concern. “Oh, I am so sorry, Larkin. I was being insensitive.”
“No, no, no! It’s not about that at all. I truly am fine with everything. I’m just a bit preoccupied. My stomach is a little upset.”
“Would you like to go home?”
“No, thank you so much. I’ll be fine.”
“Well, okay, then. Please let me know if you need a break. We’re going to work on how to get the specimens we froze onto microscope slides for the experiments.”
Susan removed from the freezer one of the specimens they’d prepped that morning. She took it out of its foil wrapping and flipped down a glass window on the rotary cryostat machine that sat in the corner of the lab next to a rolling stool. It was about the size and shape of a small ATM and maintained a temperature of -5 degrees Celsius. After sitting down on the stool, she tapped the frozen specimen out of the plastic container into her hand and mounted it—facing her—on what she called a chuck inside the machine.
Susan then showed Larkin the handle on the machine’s side. “Now, as you turn this handle, the specimen on the chuck will advance forward in very small increments. We start slicing the sample to a thickness of ten micrometers. This part goes fast because we have to slice through a decent amount of the mounting gel to get to the sample.” She started moving the handle in forward circular motions as thin pieces fell to the bottom of the machine.
“You’d think I’d get frostbite doing this, but I never wear gloves. It’s really not bad,” Susan said as she quickly sliced. “Ah! Now we are just getting to the eyes,” she said as two dark spots became visible on the specimen. “Just a little bit more until we start seeing the part of the facial structures we want.”
Susan explained to Larkin what the samples they collected should look like. As Susan continued to slice the sample, they could now see the features that would develop into the nostrils and the mouth. Then Susan grabbed a microscope slide and a small paintbrush from a countertop next to the machine. She made another slice, using the paintbrush to coax the sample onto the slide in one smooth stroke.
“It takes a lot of practice to get it onto the slide flat and unwrinkled. I expect you to mess up a lot. A lot! But we will give you plenty of practice.”
Susan collected about ten slides she was happy with and stored them in the freezer for later use.
“So, tomorrow we’ll let you start practicing. Right now, let’s head up to Dr. Davis’s office, and we can tell him how you are doing. He’s been so busy, he hasn’t had a chance to talk to you yet.”
“Now? I’m going to see him now?” Larkin stammered. The pit in her stomach had gone away for a bit while she’d focused on learning the cryostat technique, but that feeling had quickly returned.
“Yes, Larkin. Right now. Is your stomach bothering you again?”
“No, no. I’m fine. I want to see him.”
Susan regarded her skeptically—Larkin was beginning to look pale again. “Okay, if you say so. Follow me.”
They walked up to Dr. Davis’s office on the fifth floor. The door was open, and he was on the phone. His feet were on the table, ankles crossed, as he talked to a colleague in a research laboratory at another university.
Every surface of his office was covered in stacks of books and journals on topics like genetics, histology, embryonic development, DNA sequencing, and evolutionary biology. There were at least a dozen empty coffee cups scattered about the room, some balanced precariously on books.
In a “Happy Kwanzaa” frame, there was a picture of Dr. Davis hugging a man who looked like a senior version of himself—white hair and a big smile. In another was a blurrier photo of Dr. Davis as a toddler, sitting on his dad’s lap on a plaid couch, both with the same wide smiles on their faces. There was one more photo, this one of a bride and groom. It was dated in cursive script at the bottom: May 22, 1985. It looked like his dad again, this time posing with his new bride. Larkin didn’t see any more photos of her in the office.
Dr. Davis hung up the phone and stood to shake Larkin’s hand. “Welcome! Welcome! We are so happy to have you as part of the team, Larkin. I hope you’re enjoying it so far.”
They all sat, and she assured him that she was very happy with her new job. She also praised Susan’s patience and teaching skills.
“She is the best. She keeps me organized,” Dr. Davis agreed.
“You seem to have a lot to organize!” Larkin exclaimed and immediately regretted it, thinking she had insulted his chaotic environment.
“You mean this mess?” He laughed, looking around his office. “Never!”
Susan grumbled good-naturedly, “Believe me, I’ve tried.”
“Oh, no . . . I didn’t mean your office! I meant all your research projects. You sure seem to have a lot of irons in the fire!” Larkin then thought to herself, Irons in the fire! Jesus, Larkin. Who says that anymore? Blacksmiths from the 1500s? Why don’t you just tell him you have a bun in the oven, too? She wanted to bury herself under a stack of his journals to hide her embarrassment.
“It’s very true, yes. Lots of irons in the fire. That’s a perfect idiom. I love it. And that’s why you’re here. I have a lot of projects going on at once. Many irons. Many fires. One of those fires is in my belly, and I know you have it, too, Larkin. That’s why I hired you.” He leaned forward and pointed his index finger toward her.
Still embarrassed and distracted, she only partially heard him. “Wait, what did you say is in my belly?” Her heart raced as she absentmindedly put her hands on her stomach, then quickly moved them to her sides.
“The fire, Larkin, the fire! You’ve got that determination to succeed! I knew it the first time I met you.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. “Thank you so much, Dr. Davis. That’s so nice of you to say.”
“You don’t need to thank me for speaking the truth.”
Susan told him they should clean the lab before heading out for the day. Larkin was relieved they were about to leave his office.
“We will get together at least once a week to go over your progress, but anytime you need anything, I’ll make myself available, alright?” Dr. Davis assured her.
Larkin simply nodded and decided it was best not to say anything else. She and Susan headed back to the lab to clean up their work area. Once they were at Larkin’s desk, Susan told Larkin to go home and rest, adding that she hoped Larkin felt better tomorrow.
CHAPTER 5
Larkin and Spencer hadn’t had time to buy much furniture for their new home, but they had two comfortable barstools in the kitchen where they always sat to eat dinner and talk about their days. Larkin’s purse sat at the end of the kitchen counter. Her body was angled away from it, but she couldn’t forget what was inside, hastily wrapped in paper towels. She had decided what she wanted to do.
When they were close to finishing their meal, Larkin put down her utensils and turned to Spencer. “Susan said something funny a couple of days ago,” she blurted out.
“What’d she say?”
“She said that for us to have a happy marriage, I should be able to choose one thing I want, and you can’t tell me ‘no.’”
“Uh-oh. How much is this going to cost me?” He looked at her with skepticism.
“Umm . . . I think about three hundred thousand dollars.” Larkin laughed nervously.
Spencer thought for a moment. “So . . . you want a Tesla Roadster? I didn’t even know you liked cars that much,” he said with bemusement.
“No, I don’t want a car.”
“Anything you want, Larkin. Tell me and we’ll figure it out.”
“I want a baby.”
“Well, sure. We both want a baby someday. Maybe two or three.”
“I want a baby now . . . please.”
Spencer stood up from his stool, dropped his napkin, and said with a wide grin, “Great! Let’s start practicing some more! Now, that’s the key to a happy marriage!” He held her hand gently, trying to coax her toward the bedroom.
Larkin pulled him back to her and put one hand on his. “I’m pregnant.”
Spencer looked into her eyes, and she repeated herself. “I’m pregnant, and I want this baby,” she said.
She took the pregnancy test out of her purse and showed it to him. “I just found out today, and I didn’t realize how much I wanted this until it happened, and I know this isn’t the best timing, and we can’t afford it right now, and I am so sorry, Spencer, but please, don’t tell me no. This is the thing. Our baby. This is the one thing I want.” She couldn’t look at him, so she put her head down and stared at her lap.
Spencer put his hands on her cheeks and raised her face to look at him. “Larkin, I would never say ‘no’ to this. Ever. Okay?”
She started sobbing. “Thank you, Spencer. Thank you so much. I’m so very sorry.”
“Sorry for what? Did you steal some sperm from me while I was sleeping? I don’t know how you did it, but I’m impressed. Didn’t even notice. You’re welcome to try doing that again anytime. I’ll pay more attention next time around.” As he smiled, he exposed the little chip in his tooth that Larkin had fallen in love with at the library.
Relieved, Larkin wiped away her tears. “You’re really not mad?”
“Mad? Why? This is good news. Surprising news, yes. But great news. Our parents are going to be excited. We can do this. Now, you are probably right about how much babies cost to raise. That may even be an underestimate, but we have eighteen years to spread out those costs. And you know how much I love crunching numbers, so you know we can figure this out.”
She grabbed Spencer and squeezed him tightly. “I really had no idea how much I wanted this. I’m so happy to be having a baby with you.”
“I am, too. This is really fantastic. When should we tell our parents?”
“Let’s wait until the first obstetrician’s appointment. Oh, my God . . . we need an obstetrician!” Larkin said, still processing their new reality. “I want to make sure everything is okay first. Susan was telling me about having multiple miscarriages, so I’ll feel better having an appointment before we tell anyone.”
“Of course. We can wait. So, by the way, what is Susan’s ‘one thing’?”
“Cats! Lots of cats!” Larkin laughed and squeezed his arm. “She said she wants to find a—what did she say?—a kindle of kittens.”
“Well, maybe we need a whole flock of babies then. A bevy of babies! Or a gaggle. Or a herd. Or a clutch. Or a conspiracy, like lemurs. Or a murder, like crows,” Spencer mused.
“Let’s not have a murder of babies. That sounds like a horror movie. Let’s just start with a baby. Singular.”
As they lay in bed that night, Larkin couldn’t believe how quickly her life had changed. She wanted to share her news with someone else, so she texted Aubrey, who was now in her first year of medical school:
are you awake?
always. studying. u ok?
i’m going to need you to hurry up to be my obstetrician
lol. when?
in about nine months
CHAPTER 6
September 14, 2032
The Tennessean
Conservative pro-life candidate campaigns for US Senate on platform of nationwide ban on all abortions from time of conception and banning birth control
Spencer had accompanied Larkin to her first obstetrician visit. They’d found the doctor when Larkin had asked Susan for a recommendation. Larkin had claimed she wanted to establish with someone new for birth control—a white lie since she and Spencer had agreed to tell their families about the pregnancy before telling anyone else.
The visit was routine and all good news. Dr. Parrish had estimated Larkin’s due date and took a complete family history. She’d also had some routine labs drawn and prescribed prenatal vitamins. Finally, she’d told Larkin to limit caffeine and not to drink any alcohol. Spencer was excited for Larkin’s next appointment the following month, when she was twelve weeks pregnant, for an ultrasound where they should be able to hear the heartbeat.
Spencer got permission from Larkin to share the news of the pregnancy when he interviewed for jobs—he wanted to work so he could help save for a small nest egg prior to the baby’s arrival. Since he was only looking for a part-time position and had no experience, they thought it might help his chances of getting hired, and it did.
Spencer was hired by a privately owned local insurance agency to help with expense reports and account reconciliation. The owner was a gregarious man with a booming voice who was a natural salesman, always ready with a firm handshake and a good, clean joke. He would know and remember your children’s names, the college you attended, and your church’s denomination after just one conversation.
Jack Montgomery had grown up in the area and bought the insurance franchise with his parents’ generous help when he was just twenty-two years old. He had been in the business for more than three decades. He’d married when he was twenty and had a family of five. Jack had felt a connection with Spencer when he learned he had married recently and was already starting a family.
Jack was running for the US Senate and had served as a school board representative when his children were younger. He’d wanted to preserve traditional values in the school system, helped to eliminate any teaching of critical race theory, and restricted the discussion of LGBTQ topics in elementary and middle schools. He felt his views were worthy of a larger audience in Washington, DC.
Jack’s office looked more like a campaign headquarters than an insurance agency. His name was plastered on red, white, and blue posters on the windows and walls. His employees all wore American flag pins on their lapels or sweaters with “I Back Jack!” pins below them. Spencer hadn’t seen that many American flags in one place since he had been a kid visiting Arlington National Cemetery on Memorial Day.
Jack enjoyed telling Spencer stories about his success in the insurance industry. He told him it was an important job, making sure families have peace of mind and helping them achieve their goals. He tried convincing Spencer to reconsider his career choice.
“C’mon, Spence. Don’t you think you’ll get tired of sitting back with an abacus all day thinking about numbers?”
“I think actuarial science fits my personality well, sir,” Spencer politely replied. And no one uses an abacus anymore, he thought.
“I don’t think your personality is boring, son, but that’s what it sounds like to be tappity-tap-tapping on an adding machine all day,” he said as he wiggled his fingers dramatically and with a look of disdain. “Whoo. No, sir. B-O-R-I-N-G!” He craned back his head for emphasis.
“Well, I appreciate your concern, but—”
“I tell you what,” Jack interrupted. “I have a new young couple coming in at two to talk about a life insurance policy. Why don’t you sit in and see what it’s like to give a family peace of mind? Very rewarding, very rewarding. Can’t do that punching a calculator. You’re not giving anyone much of anything. All you’re getting are calluses on your fingers.”
Spencer agreed to sit in on the appointment. A young couple walked into the office promptly at 2 p.m., and Jack immediately walked over to them and gave the man a hearty handshake. They introduced themselves as Allie and Kaiden June. Allie was wearing a flowy pink flowered dress that Jack complimented.
“Lovely wife you have there!” Jack said to Kaiden and patted him on the back. He introduced Spencer and led them all into his office.
Jack sat behind his desk with Spencer seated next to him closer to the wall. The couple sat across from them, and Allie pulled out her phone. “My parents are so happy for us to take this next step,” she said. “They have been nagging us to get life insurance ever since we had our two-year-old. If you don’t mind, I’m going to record this for them. I don’t think they will believe we are finally doing this.”
“Go right ahead. Your parents have a lot to be proud of. You’re on the right track,” Jack said. “Have you researched whole versus term life? Do you have an idea of what you’d like?” Allie continued to video record.
