Where does a Demon go when she gets deported from Hell?Kentucky. Eden, Kentucky to be more specific—where nothing is exactly as it seems. My name is Dixie. I’m a Demon—a lousy Demon. I’m a twenty-one year old virgin and I have a battery operated boyfriend. My magic is iffy at best and downright dangerous at worst. Leaving Hell to represent my race is not high on my list of things to do.Hell was exact. Hell was simple. All I want to do is get to home base with the hotter than Hades Demon of my dreams and work on my dark side so Satan, my dad, will get off my ass.Instead I end up in Kentucky looking for the Balance of Chaos, avoiding pole dancing classes with Mother Nature and finding out my invisible friend is a silver skinned destructive weather pattern.And if that isn’t craptastic enough, the damn Sword of Death is missing again and who ever has it wants the King of the Underworld dead. Seriously.With new powers emerging daily, keeping my Demon side, horniness and general disgust under wraps doesn’t make it any easier to fit in with the humans. Thankfully my priorities are in line: get laid…save world…try not to blow up kitchen appliances…and get laid again. I was ready to rumble.All I want to do is go back to Hell, but with the balance of good and evil in my hands, I’m stuck in the garden of Eden. Oh well, what the Hell. Someone has to save the world before there’s no world left to save. Might as well be me.

Planning my own wedding should mean I’m having the time of my life…not defending it every time I turn around. Dragons, feral Wolves and Were Cows…I mean who in the hell knew Were Cows even existed? All I wanna do is marry Hank, have 2.5 beautiful little Werewolf babies and live happily ever after while having sex on a very regular basis. Oh…and I still want to shoot stuff occasionally. Apparently no one got the memo. Instead of complaining about the price of flowers, cakes and the fact that my gay Vampyre BFF, Dwayne insists on wearing a dress at my nuptials, I’m locked and loaded trying to ascertain who wants my ass six feet under. With Hank at my side and some surprising allies at our disposal, we will take on the bad dudes…one bloody clusterhump of a sucktastic battle at a time. No one ever said the Werewolf life was going to be easy, but this week we couldn’t catch a break if it bit us in the ass…

One of these things is not like the others—life threatening community theatre, wire hangers, chipmunks, tree-house sex-capades with a hot werewolf and head-shrinking with a porno-loving rabbit Shifter. Actually none of these things are even remotely like the others, but it’s my life and I’m going to make the pieces fit into a perfect puzzle—even if I have to shove it together and glue it with magic. New leaf, new leaf, new freakin’ leaf. Caring for people wasn’t in my repertoire until I landed in Assjacket, West Virginia. Falling in love wasn’t anywhere on my agenda. It’s messy. However, I’ve been told messy is what showers and therapy are for. I’m hoping that info is correct because Goddess knows I’m trying. Never until now have I been a witch that wanted it all—the guy, the job, the friends and the place called home. Now I just have to fix my slightly irresponsible and somewhat unstable witchy ways so I deserve it. I’m going for perfect…or at least a loose definition of the word. Messy…here I come. Keywords: demons and devils, witches, wizards, warlocks, shifters, werewolves, paranormal, fantasy

What does a Vampyre do when the woman he’s chased for two hundred years is still trying to get away? He plays dirty. Welcome to my own personal Hell. Where life is steamy and the sex is sizzling. Only I would be blessed with a Vampyre mate that I’d have to chase for two centuries. Now to my great dismay, I have competition for her very existence—not for her hand, for her life. Name: Heathcliff. Occupation: Vampyre Warrior—one of the deadliest in the world. I plan. I fight. I win.  Always. It’s just never taken this damned long. Raquel may run and she may hide, but she is mine and I will no longer accept no for an answer. We were made for each other and nothing will change that simple fact…except maybe the Trolls or the Wraiths or the recluse Vampyre that wants to drink my mate dry. Damn it, I thought the chase was difficult…keeping Raquel alive might prove to be my undoing. Keywords: vampires, demons, devils, superheroes, paranormal romance, fantasy romance

Witches and glitches and testicle obsessed cats… Oh my. One dilemma down and approximately 74,876,283 to go. I think being the Shifter Whisperer is hard—or Shifter Wanker as I enjoy referring to my new job—but healing wounded Shifters is easy compared to finding and eliminating the lurking freaking evil.  Throw in a ghost, a potentially explosive ex-cellmate, a long lost dad and a smokin’ hot werewolf who’s convinced he’s my mate, and suddenly it’s party time—from hell.  And this is my mission?  Life is getting messy and I don’t do messy. With feelings I didn’t know I was capable of having, and the word love being thrown around like a football on Super Bowl Sunday, poofing away with a magical twitch of my nose is becoming more appealing by the moment. But to show I’m not a weenie, I’m gonna pull up my big girl panties and hurl some fireballs at Baba Yaga's older than dirt warlock posse if they don’t pony up the info I need. If I don’t burn the town of Assjacket down while trying to save it, I’m donning my red cape and playing who’s the big bad wolf with a for real wolf who’s hotter than any fireball.  I just pray to the Goddess my heart doesn’t get burned in the process. Keywords: demons and devils, witches, wizards, warlocks, shifters, werewolves, paranormal, fantasy

And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard…That’s nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren’t any books on raising True Immortals so let me give you a few tips… Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion and a map will help if you only have seven minutes and thirty-one seconds. You’re welcome. Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/ half Demon I would suggest not using parenting books at all--they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this. Have sex. When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Often times your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances. Have sex again. When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid a parent could consider putting a chip in their child. If you do this don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.  At least cuddle. Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist. Find a closet and go to town.

Released from the magic pokey and paroled with limited power is enough to make any witch grumpy. However, if you throw in a recently resurrected cat, a lime-green Kia and a sexy egotistical werewolf, it's enough to make a gal fly off the edge. Not to mention a mission...with no freaking directions. So here I sit in Asscrack, West Virginia trying to figure out how to complete my mysterious mission before All Hallows Eve when I’ll get turned into a mortal. The animals in the area are convinced I'm the Shifter Whisperer (whatever the hell that is) and the hotter-than- asphalt-in-August werewolf thinks I'm his mate. Now apparently I'm slated to save a bunch of hairy freaks of nature? If they think I'm the right witch for the job, they've swallowed some bad brew.