Debut, p.13
Debut, page 13
“Knock yourself out.” Erin wasted no time clearing the table of items, unfolding the cloth, and smoothing out its wrinkles. Her attempts to line it up with the table edges were unsuccessful. Corners were cut at odd angles, preventing a match. “How’s it look?” Mindy asked from the next room.
“Um…good,” responded Erin unconvincingly.
Mindy entered the dining nook carrying two steaming bowls of ramen. Upon spotting her handiwork, she marveled at its awfulness, then giggled as she set the meal on the table. “Marielle has no reason to fear me.”
“True,” agreed Erin, relieved to see her jovial reaction.
“It looks easy, but it’s not.” Mindy invited her to sit. “I added gochujang, some bok choy, a hard-boiled egg, and a dab of soy sauce,” she explained. “Also, sriracha. Hope you don’t mind.”
“If I knew what half of that was, I’d let you know. Smells amazing, though.”
“I keep forgetting you’re a newb when it comes to Asian food.” Erin attempted to eat noodles with chopsticks but kept losing them long before they reached her mouth. She guiltily discarded the unfamiliar utensils and chose a fork instead. “Keep at it. You’ll get used to it,” encouraged Mindy.
Erin rolled her noodles spaghetti-style and took one bite. “Mmm, it’s delicious. You made it so fast. Mine are always so boring.”
“The key is quality noodles. Don’t bother with standard grocery store crap. Go to an Asian market.”
“I tried once. Saw a million different packages in an aisle a mile long. No clue what to do with any of it.”
“We’ll go shopping soon. I’ll teach you Noodles 101.”
Erin tasted the broth but found it too hot. “Are you still seeing that guy?” she asked, “What’s his name?”
“You mean Bryce? No, that’s over. What a coward. Not even the decency to tell me in person.”
“How’d you find out?”
“His dog unfollowed me on Instagram last week. That’s when I knew the jig was up.” Mindy shrugged like it was no big deal. “The kiss of death.” She added a few sprigs of Thai basil to her ramen. “So, what’s up, buttercup? Your roommate at it again?”
“Oh my god, it’s getting worse.” Erin’s pent-up emotions got the better of her. Words poured forth in a torrent. “When this first started, it would be different guys once or twice a week. Now, it’s out of control. Tonight, she had two with her at once. I stayed long enough to grab my stuff but saw things I never imagined.”
Mindy at first smiled, then broke into a hearty laugh. “Seriously? Wow! Her sex life sounds so much better than mine.”
“They always encourage me to stay, but would you feel comfortable with all that going on?”
“Maybe they’re hoping you join in,” Mindy suggested. “Sounds like they could use a fourth.”
“Mindy!” Erin scolded.
“I’m teasing,” she snickered. “I agree, though. It’s inconsiderate. Is this the same roommate you started the year with?”
“Same one.”
“Didn’t she take a purity oath of some kind?”
“She did, at her bible school in Kentucky. When she began the semester, she’d quote scripture to explain why she was staying a virgin until marriage. Boy, not anymore.”
“What happened?”
“Who knows? When this became a problem, I pointed out, ‘You used to call your body the temple of the Lord.’”
“How’d she respond?”
“She goes, ‘It still is. And I plan to let as many worshippers in as possible.’”
Mindy choked a loud laugh and clapped her hands in delight, “Oh, that’s classic. I have to remember that one.”
Erin was initially surprised by Mindy’s reaction but ultimately saw the humor in the situation and laughed, too. “Is my roommate bad?”
Mindy smiled at the question as if she found it precious but answered it honestly. “Well, here’s the thing. Guys can sleep around as much as they want, and nobody cares. When women do the same thing? Yeah, good luck with that. It’s not right, but that’s reality.” Erin’s reaction must’ve signaled to Mindy that her answer was incomplete, so she continued. “Listen, do what you feel comfortable with, but just realize people will talk. You know how to avoid pregnancy and STDs, right?”
Erin nodded.
“What are you planning to do?”
“I don’t want to rock the boat. My roommate’s pretty nice most of the time. I could sleep in the car. It’s only for one year.”
“Well, you can stay here if I have room.”
Erin’s broth had cooled considerably, and she ate more vigorously. After they finished and cleaned the dishes, including those left behind by the roommates, they got ready for bed. Before retiring to her room, Mindy prepared the couch with an extra sheet and pillow. Erin, in the meantime, mustered the courage to present another revelation. “Remember the night of the campfire when we shot our video? You all discussed dating and stuff and teased me about my boyfriends in high school.”
“I hope you didn’t feel we were laughing at you.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course.”
“I’ve never, you know—I still haven’t—” She hesitated.
Mindy extended a finger to stop her from continuing. “Okay, first of all, don’t say, ‘lost your virginity.’ That sounds so negative. I prefer to say ‘making your sexual debut.’”
Erin laughed, relieved that she wasn’t being ridiculed. “My parents told me to wait until marriage, but that doesn’t seem important to anyone here. Everybody talks about sex so much, I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.”
“Keep this in mind. In the span of a few years, your parents will go from saying, ‘Don’t ever have sex,’ to asking, ‘When will you have kids?’ Is that even remotely fair? Don’t pressure yourself. When you’re ready, it’ll happen. Just make sure he’s considerate.” Mindy thought about it momentarily. “And don’t do it simply for his sake, either. It should be your choice.”
“I thought by coming to college, I’d master adulting, but now I’m more confused than ever.”
“Don’t wish your life away. Enjoy the moment.”
“You handle things so well. Meanwhile, smogging the car or doing the laundry without destroying my clothes kicks me in the butt.”
“You give me far too much credit,” Mindy said as she tossed her arms open wide. “Does this look like the home of a woman who has her act together?”
Erin scanned the apartment once more, despite knowing what she’d find. “Okay, I wasn’t going to mention it,” she said with a giggle, “but I see your point.”
* * *
While driving to work the next day, Mindy pondered her life choices. If she was being candid, the past week had been a blast. It was exhilarating to create something in tandem with like-minded people. What’s more, she felt important. Since joining Made in Heaven, she noticed the subtle ways the other girls deferred to her experience. They valued what she had to say; they took her advice seriously. That never happened with WeR5 or even the record store. But this sentiment came at a cost. In order to record the EP and film the music video, she had to request time off work and on busy weekends to boot. As a regular employee, days off were never an issue. Part of the upside of working in retail was its flexibility. But, now, as a newly minted Assistant Manager, those requests did not sit well with Brad. He was the one who picked up her slack. And Mindy knew from experience that the band conflicts would likely only increase. Much to her surprise, the ragtag indie group turned out to actually be talented and ambitious. Her initial prediction that they’d fold quickly looked painfully misguided now.
On the other hand, it seemed like the height of folly to reject the one career opportunity open to her in favor of an endeavor that amounted to storming the quixotic windmill. Made in Heaven was highly unlikely to ever turn a profit, let alone provide an adequate living for seven members and support staff. That wasn’t a reflection on the group itself, merely a truth about the music business. Hard work and talent were only part of the equation. The rest came down to luck. Yet she couldn’t help but love the idea that they were trying.
For one thing, she felt alive again. Not long ago, Mindy convinced herself that those feelings were dead forever. Heather’s invitation changed everything.
After parking in the employee lot of Amorphous Music, Mindy studied her reflection in the rearview mirror. In the direct sunlight, she noticed faint wrinkles at the corners of her eyes for the first time. Emerging from the vehicle, her course of action became clear. Inside, she found Brad in his office, surrounded as usual by stacks of paper. She knocked on the open door to get his attention. He looked up but did not smile.
“Hi Brad, can we talk?”
11
ROLLING IN DOUGH
After weeks of fruitless modeling auditions, the first sparkle of hope June received came from the unlikeliest of sources: her own TikTok account. The direct message read:
“You have been shortlisted in our modeling database, and we would like to offer you the chance to come to our studio in the next couple of weeks for a trial photoshoot.”
None of her tryouts had thus far resulted in even a callback. She’d been warned countless times that modeling was a tricky business to break into. Still, the constant rejection via silence was disheartening. Then, just when her spirits were at their lowest, this message arrived. Someone had finally noticed her! Enough to reach out directly even. June immediately responded. Within an hour, she received a phone call from someone named Jake.
“I sorry. English no good,” she told him.
“That’s absolutely no problem at all,” he said in the friendliest of tones. “We regularly work with a global clientele.” June only recognized half of his words but could construct their rough meaning through context and repetition. Slowly, she was able to extract the most pertinent information. Jake proved highly patient during the entire conversation. He described Spectra Pacific as a scouting service for modeling agencies. June’s lack of experience was not a hindrance, he assured her. The service made money by identifying new talent and would gladly guide her through the process. “Your immediate need is new headshots,” Jake said. “Once we do the shoot, we’ll better understand your potential. If it proves successful, we’ll help you build a modeling portfolio of the highest standards.”
June was provided an address and told to arrive in two days. She was to bring five or six outfit changes and leave hair and makeup undone as they would be professionally handled. From her limited wardrobe, she could only piece together three decent outfits. Her arms nervously trembled during the bus trip to the studio. The warm greetings she received on arrival put her at ease, though. The photographer gushed throughout the shoot itself, calling June a natural. The entire process took two hours. Afterward, she was invited to wait in the sparsely furnished foyer as the best shots were selected.
A smiling white woman named Cathy eventually approached. She escorted June to another spare room where the lights had been dimmed. An array of photos were illuminated on a large monitor. “These are the rare days I look forward to the most,” said Cathy. “We normally only pick 20 images, but yours are so good we couldn’t settle for less than four dozen.” June flushed red with the barrage of compliments she continued to receive throughout the review.
Then came the unexpected news. Cathy advised June that only by purchasing a portfolio package would she be able to maximize her considerable potential. “The packages start as low as $399.00,” she said. Cathy let that information sink in. June knew she couldn’t immediately access that amount in cash and hadn’t yet qualified for a credit card. When it seemed that June wouldn’t respond at all, Cathy continued. “It sounds like a lot, but your potential is limitless. In fact, I wouldn’t even bother with the lowest tier if I were you. Let me fill you in on a little secret. Fashion Week is coming up. If you upgrade to the deluxe tier, we could showcase you for the most prestigious agencies.”
“That so much,” June said.
“All up to you. Can you really put a price on your future?”
June left the studio, believing the opportunity was too good to pass up. Spectra Pacific obviously saw her as above average. They had connections. As for the money, she requested an advance on her weekly pay and offered to cover double shifts. Her boss, Mr. Gardner, agreed without debate. June possessed a strong work ethic and was a favorite of the regulars.
When June returned to pay for the photos, she received a second shock. Cathy accepted the $599.00 due for the deluxe tier but referred to it only as ‘a deposit’.
“What is depawzit?” June asked.
“We can’t get started on your portfolio until we have 10 percent down, which we do now. But we can’t release any photos until we receive payment in full.”
“But that — $6000?”
“Don’t worry about it. Once you get a good modeling job, it’ll pay for itself in no time. That price is a bargain when you consider your lifelong earning potential.”
June left for home in a dour mood. The amount they were asking for seemed entirely out of reach. And it angered her to no end that Cathy had never once mentioned the total price beforehand. June pulled the signal chord three bus stops from her housing project. The public library there offered free internet access, which she used to research Spectra Pacific. What she found chilled her. Post after message board post warned of their scams and deceptive practices. June felt so foolish. She had made a concerted effort to put aside the deep distrust that allowed her to survive in her home country and be more trusting in this new one. Now, she felt ashamed for being so easily duped.
June vowed not to rest until she got her money back. Yet, all of her calls and messages were ignored. Now that she was working overtime, she didn’t have the time or energy to return to Spectra in person. Two weeks passed before the first opportunity arose. To her amazement, she discovered the suite that once housed Spectra Pacific was utterly vacant. No forwarding address was left. June spoke to a secretary in an adjacent office who had little knowledge of the company other than they had signed a temporary lease and left without warning.
After a month of double shifts, June was exhausted. The apartment she shared with her aunt remained barely furnished. The wicker chair Aunt Ye-jin had snagged for five dollars at a garage sale was uncomfortable. June avoided it whenever possible. A nest of blankets and pillows on the living room floor put her at ease. June opened the envelope of tips she received from waiting tables at Hapa’s Hawaiian. She sighed deeply after counting the day’s meager haul and adding it to her weekly tally. After the modeling portfolio fiasco, there was hardly anything left to contribute towards living expenses. She took her socks off to massage sore feet. Paid work was fine, but she wasn’t making any progress towards her modeling career.
A stack of books nearby beckoned. Despite being dead tired, June knew the only way her English would improve was to continue working on lessons. The library was resuming free morning ESL classes next week, and she wanted to be ready. Her Saturday course at the local Baptist church was in its third week, with homework to finish.
June was reading through one assignment when the rattling of house keys signaled Ye-jin’s arrival. “Eemo, let me get that for you,” she said, rushing to meet her aunt.
“It’s too hot to walk. I should have waited.”
“I would have gone shopping for you if I knew.” She grabbed the groceries and carried them to the kitchen.
“You’re usually working. And how can I know what’s on sale if I don’t go myself?” They made a simple dinner of gaeran mari, a rolled egg omelet with spinach, carrots, and onions. “Could you get me some water, Jeong?” Out of habit, her aunt still referred to June by her Korean name. June grabbed the water pitcher from the kitchen counter, poured a glass, and set it on the table.
As they ate, June gathered the nerve to mention finances. “Eemo, I’m sorry I won’t have much to give you this month.”
Ye-jin looked at her and smiled. “It’s okay. I understand you have expenses. We should be okay.”
“I want to help. You’ve done so much for me.”
“How are your auditions?”
“They say I’m too short.”
“But you’re 171 centimeters.”
“Here, that’s not too tall. Models need to be at least 5’8.”
“Let them know how hard you work.”
“I will, Eemo.” June was hungry enough to take another piece of omelet, but she left it for her aunt, seeing only one remained.
“That music group that’s interested in you, they’re willing to pay, right?”
June, not wanting to appear disrespectful, restrained a laugh. “I’ll ask, but they’re new. It’ll take time.”
“Well, don’t let them take advantage of you. You can’t work for free.”
“Yes, Eemo.”
Ye-jin took the last bit of omelet and ate it. “Be sure to research these agencies you audition for, too. I keep hearing stories.”
“I do, Eemo.” June didn’t have the heart to share her own tale.
“It happened to my coworker’s nephew. He paid thousands of dollars to an agency and got nothing for it.”
“I’m sure it happens,” said June. “I’ll be careful.” June reasoned that her loss of hundreds was easier to swallow than thousands. It made her feel a teeny bit better.
After eating, Ye-jin stood, grabbed her plate, and moved toward the sink. In the process, however, she knocked her water glass over. Shards scattered across the kitchen floor.
“Eemo, be careful! Are you okay?” Her aunt set the plate on the table but held her foot. Despite the applied pressure, large drops of blood stained the white-tiled floor. June retrieved a towel, alcohol, and bandages from the bathroom, then returned to dress the wound.
“Didn’t you see that glass?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Jeong. My eyes lately. They never bothered me this much before.”
“Um…good,” responded Erin unconvincingly.
Mindy entered the dining nook carrying two steaming bowls of ramen. Upon spotting her handiwork, she marveled at its awfulness, then giggled as she set the meal on the table. “Marielle has no reason to fear me.”
“True,” agreed Erin, relieved to see her jovial reaction.
“It looks easy, but it’s not.” Mindy invited her to sit. “I added gochujang, some bok choy, a hard-boiled egg, and a dab of soy sauce,” she explained. “Also, sriracha. Hope you don’t mind.”
“If I knew what half of that was, I’d let you know. Smells amazing, though.”
“I keep forgetting you’re a newb when it comes to Asian food.” Erin attempted to eat noodles with chopsticks but kept losing them long before they reached her mouth. She guiltily discarded the unfamiliar utensils and chose a fork instead. “Keep at it. You’ll get used to it,” encouraged Mindy.
Erin rolled her noodles spaghetti-style and took one bite. “Mmm, it’s delicious. You made it so fast. Mine are always so boring.”
“The key is quality noodles. Don’t bother with standard grocery store crap. Go to an Asian market.”
“I tried once. Saw a million different packages in an aisle a mile long. No clue what to do with any of it.”
“We’ll go shopping soon. I’ll teach you Noodles 101.”
Erin tasted the broth but found it too hot. “Are you still seeing that guy?” she asked, “What’s his name?”
“You mean Bryce? No, that’s over. What a coward. Not even the decency to tell me in person.”
“How’d you find out?”
“His dog unfollowed me on Instagram last week. That’s when I knew the jig was up.” Mindy shrugged like it was no big deal. “The kiss of death.” She added a few sprigs of Thai basil to her ramen. “So, what’s up, buttercup? Your roommate at it again?”
“Oh my god, it’s getting worse.” Erin’s pent-up emotions got the better of her. Words poured forth in a torrent. “When this first started, it would be different guys once or twice a week. Now, it’s out of control. Tonight, she had two with her at once. I stayed long enough to grab my stuff but saw things I never imagined.”
Mindy at first smiled, then broke into a hearty laugh. “Seriously? Wow! Her sex life sounds so much better than mine.”
“They always encourage me to stay, but would you feel comfortable with all that going on?”
“Maybe they’re hoping you join in,” Mindy suggested. “Sounds like they could use a fourth.”
“Mindy!” Erin scolded.
“I’m teasing,” she snickered. “I agree, though. It’s inconsiderate. Is this the same roommate you started the year with?”
“Same one.”
“Didn’t she take a purity oath of some kind?”
“She did, at her bible school in Kentucky. When she began the semester, she’d quote scripture to explain why she was staying a virgin until marriage. Boy, not anymore.”
“What happened?”
“Who knows? When this became a problem, I pointed out, ‘You used to call your body the temple of the Lord.’”
“How’d she respond?”
“She goes, ‘It still is. And I plan to let as many worshippers in as possible.’”
Mindy choked a loud laugh and clapped her hands in delight, “Oh, that’s classic. I have to remember that one.”
Erin was initially surprised by Mindy’s reaction but ultimately saw the humor in the situation and laughed, too. “Is my roommate bad?”
Mindy smiled at the question as if she found it precious but answered it honestly. “Well, here’s the thing. Guys can sleep around as much as they want, and nobody cares. When women do the same thing? Yeah, good luck with that. It’s not right, but that’s reality.” Erin’s reaction must’ve signaled to Mindy that her answer was incomplete, so she continued. “Listen, do what you feel comfortable with, but just realize people will talk. You know how to avoid pregnancy and STDs, right?”
Erin nodded.
“What are you planning to do?”
“I don’t want to rock the boat. My roommate’s pretty nice most of the time. I could sleep in the car. It’s only for one year.”
“Well, you can stay here if I have room.”
Erin’s broth had cooled considerably, and she ate more vigorously. After they finished and cleaned the dishes, including those left behind by the roommates, they got ready for bed. Before retiring to her room, Mindy prepared the couch with an extra sheet and pillow. Erin, in the meantime, mustered the courage to present another revelation. “Remember the night of the campfire when we shot our video? You all discussed dating and stuff and teased me about my boyfriends in high school.”
“I hope you didn’t feel we were laughing at you.”
“Can I tell you a secret?”
“Of course.”
“I’ve never, you know—I still haven’t—” She hesitated.
Mindy extended a finger to stop her from continuing. “Okay, first of all, don’t say, ‘lost your virginity.’ That sounds so negative. I prefer to say ‘making your sexual debut.’”
Erin laughed, relieved that she wasn’t being ridiculed. “My parents told me to wait until marriage, but that doesn’t seem important to anyone here. Everybody talks about sex so much, I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.”
“Keep this in mind. In the span of a few years, your parents will go from saying, ‘Don’t ever have sex,’ to asking, ‘When will you have kids?’ Is that even remotely fair? Don’t pressure yourself. When you’re ready, it’ll happen. Just make sure he’s considerate.” Mindy thought about it momentarily. “And don’t do it simply for his sake, either. It should be your choice.”
“I thought by coming to college, I’d master adulting, but now I’m more confused than ever.”
“Don’t wish your life away. Enjoy the moment.”
“You handle things so well. Meanwhile, smogging the car or doing the laundry without destroying my clothes kicks me in the butt.”
“You give me far too much credit,” Mindy said as she tossed her arms open wide. “Does this look like the home of a woman who has her act together?”
Erin scanned the apartment once more, despite knowing what she’d find. “Okay, I wasn’t going to mention it,” she said with a giggle, “but I see your point.”
* * *
While driving to work the next day, Mindy pondered her life choices. If she was being candid, the past week had been a blast. It was exhilarating to create something in tandem with like-minded people. What’s more, she felt important. Since joining Made in Heaven, she noticed the subtle ways the other girls deferred to her experience. They valued what she had to say; they took her advice seriously. That never happened with WeR5 or even the record store. But this sentiment came at a cost. In order to record the EP and film the music video, she had to request time off work and on busy weekends to boot. As a regular employee, days off were never an issue. Part of the upside of working in retail was its flexibility. But, now, as a newly minted Assistant Manager, those requests did not sit well with Brad. He was the one who picked up her slack. And Mindy knew from experience that the band conflicts would likely only increase. Much to her surprise, the ragtag indie group turned out to actually be talented and ambitious. Her initial prediction that they’d fold quickly looked painfully misguided now.
On the other hand, it seemed like the height of folly to reject the one career opportunity open to her in favor of an endeavor that amounted to storming the quixotic windmill. Made in Heaven was highly unlikely to ever turn a profit, let alone provide an adequate living for seven members and support staff. That wasn’t a reflection on the group itself, merely a truth about the music business. Hard work and talent were only part of the equation. The rest came down to luck. Yet she couldn’t help but love the idea that they were trying.
For one thing, she felt alive again. Not long ago, Mindy convinced herself that those feelings were dead forever. Heather’s invitation changed everything.
After parking in the employee lot of Amorphous Music, Mindy studied her reflection in the rearview mirror. In the direct sunlight, she noticed faint wrinkles at the corners of her eyes for the first time. Emerging from the vehicle, her course of action became clear. Inside, she found Brad in his office, surrounded as usual by stacks of paper. She knocked on the open door to get his attention. He looked up but did not smile.
“Hi Brad, can we talk?”
11
ROLLING IN DOUGH
After weeks of fruitless modeling auditions, the first sparkle of hope June received came from the unlikeliest of sources: her own TikTok account. The direct message read:
“You have been shortlisted in our modeling database, and we would like to offer you the chance to come to our studio in the next couple of weeks for a trial photoshoot.”
None of her tryouts had thus far resulted in even a callback. She’d been warned countless times that modeling was a tricky business to break into. Still, the constant rejection via silence was disheartening. Then, just when her spirits were at their lowest, this message arrived. Someone had finally noticed her! Enough to reach out directly even. June immediately responded. Within an hour, she received a phone call from someone named Jake.
“I sorry. English no good,” she told him.
“That’s absolutely no problem at all,” he said in the friendliest of tones. “We regularly work with a global clientele.” June only recognized half of his words but could construct their rough meaning through context and repetition. Slowly, she was able to extract the most pertinent information. Jake proved highly patient during the entire conversation. He described Spectra Pacific as a scouting service for modeling agencies. June’s lack of experience was not a hindrance, he assured her. The service made money by identifying new talent and would gladly guide her through the process. “Your immediate need is new headshots,” Jake said. “Once we do the shoot, we’ll better understand your potential. If it proves successful, we’ll help you build a modeling portfolio of the highest standards.”
June was provided an address and told to arrive in two days. She was to bring five or six outfit changes and leave hair and makeup undone as they would be professionally handled. From her limited wardrobe, she could only piece together three decent outfits. Her arms nervously trembled during the bus trip to the studio. The warm greetings she received on arrival put her at ease, though. The photographer gushed throughout the shoot itself, calling June a natural. The entire process took two hours. Afterward, she was invited to wait in the sparsely furnished foyer as the best shots were selected.
A smiling white woman named Cathy eventually approached. She escorted June to another spare room where the lights had been dimmed. An array of photos were illuminated on a large monitor. “These are the rare days I look forward to the most,” said Cathy. “We normally only pick 20 images, but yours are so good we couldn’t settle for less than four dozen.” June flushed red with the barrage of compliments she continued to receive throughout the review.
Then came the unexpected news. Cathy advised June that only by purchasing a portfolio package would she be able to maximize her considerable potential. “The packages start as low as $399.00,” she said. Cathy let that information sink in. June knew she couldn’t immediately access that amount in cash and hadn’t yet qualified for a credit card. When it seemed that June wouldn’t respond at all, Cathy continued. “It sounds like a lot, but your potential is limitless. In fact, I wouldn’t even bother with the lowest tier if I were you. Let me fill you in on a little secret. Fashion Week is coming up. If you upgrade to the deluxe tier, we could showcase you for the most prestigious agencies.”
“That so much,” June said.
“All up to you. Can you really put a price on your future?”
June left the studio, believing the opportunity was too good to pass up. Spectra Pacific obviously saw her as above average. They had connections. As for the money, she requested an advance on her weekly pay and offered to cover double shifts. Her boss, Mr. Gardner, agreed without debate. June possessed a strong work ethic and was a favorite of the regulars.
When June returned to pay for the photos, she received a second shock. Cathy accepted the $599.00 due for the deluxe tier but referred to it only as ‘a deposit’.
“What is depawzit?” June asked.
“We can’t get started on your portfolio until we have 10 percent down, which we do now. But we can’t release any photos until we receive payment in full.”
“But that — $6000?”
“Don’t worry about it. Once you get a good modeling job, it’ll pay for itself in no time. That price is a bargain when you consider your lifelong earning potential.”
June left for home in a dour mood. The amount they were asking for seemed entirely out of reach. And it angered her to no end that Cathy had never once mentioned the total price beforehand. June pulled the signal chord three bus stops from her housing project. The public library there offered free internet access, which she used to research Spectra Pacific. What she found chilled her. Post after message board post warned of their scams and deceptive practices. June felt so foolish. She had made a concerted effort to put aside the deep distrust that allowed her to survive in her home country and be more trusting in this new one. Now, she felt ashamed for being so easily duped.
June vowed not to rest until she got her money back. Yet, all of her calls and messages were ignored. Now that she was working overtime, she didn’t have the time or energy to return to Spectra in person. Two weeks passed before the first opportunity arose. To her amazement, she discovered the suite that once housed Spectra Pacific was utterly vacant. No forwarding address was left. June spoke to a secretary in an adjacent office who had little knowledge of the company other than they had signed a temporary lease and left without warning.
After a month of double shifts, June was exhausted. The apartment she shared with her aunt remained barely furnished. The wicker chair Aunt Ye-jin had snagged for five dollars at a garage sale was uncomfortable. June avoided it whenever possible. A nest of blankets and pillows on the living room floor put her at ease. June opened the envelope of tips she received from waiting tables at Hapa’s Hawaiian. She sighed deeply after counting the day’s meager haul and adding it to her weekly tally. After the modeling portfolio fiasco, there was hardly anything left to contribute towards living expenses. She took her socks off to massage sore feet. Paid work was fine, but she wasn’t making any progress towards her modeling career.
A stack of books nearby beckoned. Despite being dead tired, June knew the only way her English would improve was to continue working on lessons. The library was resuming free morning ESL classes next week, and she wanted to be ready. Her Saturday course at the local Baptist church was in its third week, with homework to finish.
June was reading through one assignment when the rattling of house keys signaled Ye-jin’s arrival. “Eemo, let me get that for you,” she said, rushing to meet her aunt.
“It’s too hot to walk. I should have waited.”
“I would have gone shopping for you if I knew.” She grabbed the groceries and carried them to the kitchen.
“You’re usually working. And how can I know what’s on sale if I don’t go myself?” They made a simple dinner of gaeran mari, a rolled egg omelet with spinach, carrots, and onions. “Could you get me some water, Jeong?” Out of habit, her aunt still referred to June by her Korean name. June grabbed the water pitcher from the kitchen counter, poured a glass, and set it on the table.
As they ate, June gathered the nerve to mention finances. “Eemo, I’m sorry I won’t have much to give you this month.”
Ye-jin looked at her and smiled. “It’s okay. I understand you have expenses. We should be okay.”
“I want to help. You’ve done so much for me.”
“How are your auditions?”
“They say I’m too short.”
“But you’re 171 centimeters.”
“Here, that’s not too tall. Models need to be at least 5’8.”
“Let them know how hard you work.”
“I will, Eemo.” June was hungry enough to take another piece of omelet, but she left it for her aunt, seeing only one remained.
“That music group that’s interested in you, they’re willing to pay, right?”
June, not wanting to appear disrespectful, restrained a laugh. “I’ll ask, but they’re new. It’ll take time.”
“Well, don’t let them take advantage of you. You can’t work for free.”
“Yes, Eemo.”
Ye-jin took the last bit of omelet and ate it. “Be sure to research these agencies you audition for, too. I keep hearing stories.”
“I do, Eemo.” June didn’t have the heart to share her own tale.
“It happened to my coworker’s nephew. He paid thousands of dollars to an agency and got nothing for it.”
“I’m sure it happens,” said June. “I’ll be careful.” June reasoned that her loss of hundreds was easier to swallow than thousands. It made her feel a teeny bit better.
After eating, Ye-jin stood, grabbed her plate, and moved toward the sink. In the process, however, she knocked her water glass over. Shards scattered across the kitchen floor.
“Eemo, be careful! Are you okay?” Her aunt set the plate on the table but held her foot. Despite the applied pressure, large drops of blood stained the white-tiled floor. June retrieved a towel, alcohol, and bandages from the bathroom, then returned to dress the wound.
“Didn’t you see that glass?”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Jeong. My eyes lately. They never bothered me this much before.”
